Life Lesson: Learning to Ask for What We Want

The more and more I talk to friends, and even my husband, about achieving goals, changing an aspect of their daily lives, finding a passion or just doing what we really want to do, I realize that very few of us have actually been taught to know how to just plainly and simply ask for what we want.

It’s like we’ve been bred to think that we don’t need to ask because we should be humble enough to just accept who we are and what life gives us at every step of the way and just be grateful for it, no matter how much it fits, or doesn’t, our deeper wants. Gratitude is undoubtedly a requisite of asking and a must in manifesting dreams and living a joyful life, yet it shouldn’t be used as a crutch. I know for sure that’s how I was taught to live and that it took me many, many years of soul-searching, travel, reading, perceived failures, lessons and taking huge leaps of faith to finally understand that it was up to me to create the life, friends and “things” in my life that would fit my passions.

It took me years (decades, if you may) to realize that the one simple and powerful act I was denying myself was that of asking — with a clear and purposeful intention — for that which I wanted. And, who do I ask, you wonder?

You ask your self.

You ask your higher self.

The one that creates, produces and directs the movie you star in.

The one that takes the decisive steps towards the life it wants every single time it makes a decision, no matter how seemingly small or mundane it seems.

Does this mean, as the book The Secret would have you believe, that you can ask to become a millionaire and that’s that? Not quite. Not tangible enough and lacking true intention.

Asking with intention means that you ask for that object, situation or meaning that you want manifested in your life with no attachment. Having no attachment to it means that no matter the outcome of how it appears in your life, you will accept it as a gift that leads you to a life lesson and a step forward in your journey.

You want to know what the huge catch is to truly being able to ask and manifest? You must really, really, truly want it. You must desire it to the extent it will fill a huge gap or want in your life. Asking to be a millionaire lacks the want to fill a desire.

Here’s what I want right now and I ask to manifest. I want to buy a vacation home or apartment in the Mexican Riviera Maya. I want this space because this is the area my husband and I left to move to Los Angeles exactly seven years ago today. I have no regrets for having to leave behind what I left at the time because I wouldn’t have the life I have now. However, a part of me never left and has always been yearning to go back in one way or another. Part of me aches any time I think of my life in Playa del Carmen. We’ve visited several times, but it’s never long enough. This last time we were there for a friend’s wedding I knew for sure that we have to buy a place there not to move back, but to have — and the first thing, as a good and wise friend in Playa del Carmen reminded us, was to ask for it with a clear intention and knowing of what I want. So, I’m asking. The need has always been there and now even more because I need a place for my daughter to spend her summers and holidays and feel what it is to truly be connected with the simple details in life, as well as with her family, heritage, and her parents’ native tongue.

Now it’s your turn. What’s the one thing you truly have a huge desire for right now and haven’t asked for yet? Share it in the comments below if you really want to put it out there, or just write it down in a piece of paper, fold it up and keep it next to your bed and read it every night.

It will be beautiful to read days, weeks, months or even years from now that we’ve manifested our desires. Let’s do it!


Buy the book I co-authored, Bilingual is Better: Two Latina Moms on How the Bilingual Parenting Revolution is Changing the Face of America.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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