Resolutions You Secretly Wish Your Kids Would Make

Ok yes, I’m going there. Because you know you thought about it too.

While you were thinking so hard about how you could be a better more grateful/thankful/prayerful person. You know those plans you made to get up earlier and go for long walks before defrosting those frozen nutritious lo fat organic, gluten free meals you packed the freezer full of in your plentiful spare time. You’ve got lots of spare time since you limited screen time. And also because all those thank you notes… Boom! Done.

Time for a green tea break. Just gave up coffee.

You’re going to read more, learn to knit chemo caps. Stress less. Lay off the computer. Volunteer in the classroom, for a political campaign (time to use that brain of yours more) and recycle, upcycle, ride a bike and and and….

Those kids you just considered homeschooling. There they sit slobbering. On the couch. In their underwear.

They are eating ice cream. Out. Of. The. Carton.

Watching cartoons.

And they don’t even seem to feel bad about it. Damn them.

That’s it. Final straw time. Time to start making some real resolutions. Not for you, hard working mama. For them. Here goes…

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