The One Where I Prove All Your Stereotypes About Teenagers Are True

A few weeks ago, I went to Melbourne for two nights with my friend Caitlin. It was our first trip without adults (technically we were both adults, but I meant anyone who is supposed to look after us), and it was awesome. We went there for the One Direction concert (we couldn’t get tickets in Brisbane). We stayed at the Stamford Hotel, and we spent the first half of our stay convincing ourselves that the music that was coming from the bar in the hotel was really coming from the penthouse where One Direction were staying. We encountered a  Lost-esque moment where the “airport” that our plane pulled into was a shack literally in the middle of nowhere, (that’ll teach us to fly with the cheapest airline possible, even if they are known for being dodgy- this is after they had engine trouble), lived off room service, and got lost more than once (that’s my fault.  I have no sense of direction yet keep thinking I do).

We also managed to reinforce teenage stereotypes on more than one occasion…



  • Get Caught With "Illegal" Substances 1 of 10

    At the concert, I got my roll of fruit Mentos confiscated. Apparently, they're not allowed in. Apparently, they're now a weapon, because they could be "thrown at the boys." Like I'm going to throw anything at them which isn't big enough to fit my number... I'm pretty sure the bras that were thrown are more of a weapon than a piece of candy. I think it was just a ploy by the Rod Laver Arena to get me to pay $10 for a packet of chips.

  • Drink 2 of 10

    ...copious amounts of coffee and lemonade.  I'm not going to lie: I had considered having one drink whilst I was in Melbourne, seeing as it was just after I had turned legal. But we didn't really go out clubbing or anything, and have you seen those prices in mini bars in hotel rooms? It's ridiculous. Besides, coffee keeps me awake. Lemonade is cheap and delicious. And my ID photo is really ugly. 


    Photo Courtesy of [savit keawtavee/]

  • Party Hard All Night 3 of 10

    I'm not afraid to admit that we definitely partied hard in Melbourne. We had crazy nights, y'all. The first night, we got in my pajamas at 4pm (well, actually, that was only me, to be honest), and watched The Great British Bakeoff. Followed by The Ellen Show. Followed by two episodes of Friends. Followed by Big Brother.  Followed by part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (only part, we didn't want to go too crazy and watch the whole thing-  we were tired, you know). The second night, we watched two episodes of Friends, followed by Big Brother, followed by Pretty Woman. Both nights the lights were off by 10:30pm. Yes, we're crazy  kids.



  • Are Lazy 4 of 10

    In our defense, I blame the hotel. And TV. And the rain. The hotel enabled our laziness by providing us with fancy rooms, fluffy robes and room service. And TV has basically taught me to never set a foot inside a club, in case someone goes all Emily Valentine and drugs my drink, or someone dressed like an alien steals my handbag which contains a pregnancy test and I get all stressed because I don't know whether I'm pregnant or not, and Seth Cohen proposes to me, even though I turn out not to be pregnant, and I don't want to get married and... ugh. Too much effort.



  • Invite Strange Men Into Their Rooms 5 of 10

    Well it wasn't so much as "invite" as "invited himself in so he could check whether we had taken anything from the mini bar." This strange dude from the hotel knocked then walked into our hotel room without us opening the door on the day we were checking out to see if we had taken anything out of the mini bar. Yeah, it was weird, and I was contemplating my chances of getting a frying pan and whacking him around the head with it, but neither of us were naked and he was gone in two minutes, so no big deal. 

  • Do Something Dangerous 6 of 10

    My friend, Caitlin, got her helix pierced, which I regard as highly dangerous because IT'S DONE WITH A NEEDLE. I honestly think that if it was me, I would have chickened out-  she didn't get it done in a back alley or anything, she got it done in a pharmacy which was decorated with Lizzie McGuire, Hannah Montana and Twilight characters but still, there was a needle involved. I think we can all say she's much braver than I am. 


     Photo Courtesy of [Stuart Miles/]

  • Waste All Their Money 7 of 10

    That is a matter of opinion. The photo above is only about a quarter of all the One Direction merchandise I've bought over the last month- I personally view spending $25 on One Direction magazines, $6 on One Direction wristbands, $3 on One Direction fake nails (tacky, yes, but it's not like I'll wear them out in public except for the concert) $15 on posters (thanks again to Melbourne rain for ruining one of them, much appreciated), $3 on a One Direction key chain, $10 on a One Direction light necklace, and $10 on One Direction cups to be a solid investment. I mean, we all need something to read/ wear on our wrists & nails/ put our keys on/ hang on our walls/ put around our neck/ drink out of, right? 


    Exactly. Total practicality.



  • Make Stupid Decisions 8 of 10

    This one is all my fault. Sure, the sky was grey and dark and looked like it was going to rain any moment, but in my mind, we were catching a taxi to the concert anyway, so we wouldn't need to put $100 down on a deposit for two umbrellas (yes, $100, what am I, Richie Rich?). Besides, it hadn't yet started raining, so of course it would do us the courtesy of waiting until we were safely inside the concert arena before raining, right?


    Ha. No. Apparently not. The rain decided to kill my poster as we were lining up to get inside the arena.  Plus, soak my shirt through. My shirt was white. 


    *Sigh*. I should have just paid that darn deposit. 

    Photo Courtesy of [vegadsl/]

  • Eat Nothing But Junk Food 9 of 10
    junk food

    This is definitely not true. I mean, there was milk on our cereal- milk is healthy, right? And, the chocolate mousse we had for dessert was diet. There was even salad essence on our burgers!


    Okay, yes, we basically ate nothing but junk food.


    Photo Courtesy of [digitalart/]

  • They’re Messy 10 of 10

    This picture is the hotel living room, on our last day. It's probably the tidiest it was the whole entire time of our stay, and was most likely the tidiest room in our whole hotel apartment. (What? There were no wardrobes in the hotel room, and we had to put our stuff somewhere). 

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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