When Moisturizer Is Not Enough

I am in my forties. Yes, it’s true. Seriously! No seriously, stop arguing! But when I’m out with my kids and they’re yelling and screaming in a restaurant, I tend to get a lot of weird looks like, “Oh geez, another teen mom.” Or “Didn’t that young girl learn about birth control?” Or “For a teenager she’s a great mother!” or “Didn’t I see her on 16 and Pregnant?” I could go on.

I don’t always feel great about my age, sometimes all the going to the gym, thinking about yoga, taking vitamins and moisturizing still leaves me feeling like the crows feet are winning the battle with my inner beauty. That’s when I have to do a little something extra. Something out of the ordinary. Something Mad Love. Off the rails. Or just more crazy than yoga.Here now are my tips for looking and feeling more youthful.

  • Go to Brazil. Kidding. Get a Brazilian! 1 of 6
    Go to Brazil. Kidding. Get a Brazilian!
    Oh yes. If you've never gotten a full waxing, you're in for a treat —and by treat I mean a lot of pain. I'm not going to lie to you, it hurts like a swarm of bees stinging your crotch but it's over quickly and the results will leave your hoo-ha feeling twenty years younger!
  • Hula Hoop 2 of 6
    Hula Hoop
    Honestly I don't know if this will make you feel younger personally, but it sure seems like something I would do. You know if I had a hula hoop and a bunch of time on my hands and somewhere to hula hoop where I wouldn't bump the couch or a small child in the face.
  • Don’t Tweeze Your Brows Off. 3 of 6
    Don't Tweeze Your Brows Off.
    Since we talking hair removal, let me give you a helpful hint: I don't know who invented this look of tweezing your brows into a thin or non-existent line and then penciling it back in but it's not good. In fact, it really and truly makes you look crazy old. And if you insist on doing this, please, for the love of all things holy, don't color your brows in with a pencil that's lighter than your hair. Come on. That's just common sense.
  • Listen To Rap. 4 of 6
    Listen To Rap.
    It's impossible to feel old when your speakers are bumping from some Young Jeezy or Tygr. Okay I have no idea who those people are. I just Googled current rap but I do listen to old Tupac (I know there is no other kind since he's dead —I'm forty-five not eighty) and some stuff featuring David Guetta or whatever…don't quiz me. The point is, listening to 80's music may be fun but it will be a constant reminder of your age. If you're anything like me, you don't need that.
  • Watch Young Shows 5 of 6
    Watch Young Shows
    At first when you watch MTV you will actually feel older —like ancient. But just wait. The first time you seamlessly lay in a reference to the Pyramid House from "Extreme Cribs" (no, not a show about baby nurseries) and you get a look of shocked approval from your teenager, you will know it works.
  • Botox 6 of 6
    Duh. Don't do your lips though! You want to look young, not cray-cray.

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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