Why The Triplets Have Me Berry Confused This SummerJohn Cave Osborne
Have you ever heard that deal about how your taste buds change every seven years? Could be a total lie. At best, it’s a random and unsubstantiated “fact” that my parents busted out decades ago when they were trying to convince me to taste some asparagus. See, I hated asparagus forever and ever, but my parents were both such asparagus zealots (zealots, I tell you), that they were flat-out convinced that I, too, would eventually become an asparagus-lover. But I told them that I hated asparagus the last time I’d tried it and that was that. Or so I thought.
“How long ago was that?” my dad asked.
“I dunno. Seven years?” I said.
“Well that’s the problem,” my dad said, before telling me about this mysterious morphing which he claimed happened to all taste buds every seven years. Call me gullible, but that was enough for me to give asparagus another shot. And guess what?
I discovered that I loved asparagus that night. And I also officially bought into the whole 7-year-taste-bud deal that night, too. Although now that I think about it, my taste buds have (allegedly) changed three(-ish) times since that fateful night, yet my love for asparagus has remained in tact. Hmm. I smell a conspiracy. (Or maybe that’s just asparagus-laced pee. Tough to say, really.)
You know what? Hang tight for a second.
Okay, I just Googled this 7-year-taste-bud business and when I typed in the words do your taste buds the second option prompted was (continuing) change every 7 years. SO, if my parents were lying, at least it was a prominent enough lie to end up on Google. (I wonder if Snopes is on this…) But I dare say it’s the truth. Because fast forward to today and it seems as if my triplets’ taste buds are changing.
I know what you’re thinking. They’re only four, so how could that be? And I really don’t know, but first off, they’re almost five, so I’m going to take a stab and say that because they’re collectively nearly 15, their taste buds have already changed not once, but twice. And that’s why I’m so confused this summer.
Because Sam used to love strawberries. NOTHING, and I mean nothing could come between him and his little red buddies. But now, it’s blueberries he’s all into. He’ll eat strawberries. And he still likes them okay, but the new number one is blueberries which, incidentally, he used to despise.
Kirby? The only fruit, and I do mean the only one, that she used to eat was watermelon. Until a minor seed mishap turned her against them. Now she’s all berries, all the time. Strawberries, blueberries and blackberries.
And Jack? He used to hate blueberries, but now he kinda likes them, but they’re still not his favorite. His favorite used to be cantaloupe (which is a tricky little word to spell, by the way…), but now his favorite fruit are strawberries.
That last sentence was tough from a subject-verb-agreement standpoint. I rewrote it a coupla times, but it sounded equally awkward with are as it did with is. So I tried using an extra article a la His very favorite fruit is the strawberry, but that made strawberries come off like some exotic deal you can only get at the Tropic of Cancer.
Wait, is that even a place, the Tropic of Cancer? I mean, it sounds legit, but it also kinda sounds like some fictitious place where Elmer Fudd might suddenly find himself after aimlessly chasing Bugs Bunny around for a bit. You know what? Hang tight, again, will you?
Okay. Just Googled it. And, yep. It’s a place, alright. According to Wikipedia:
The Tropic of Cancer…is the circle of latitude on the Earth that marks the northerly position at which the Sun may appear directly overhead at its zenith. This event occurs once per year at the time of the June solstice, when the Northern Hemisphere is tilted toward the Sun to its maximum extent.
WHOA. That’s weird, no? I mean, this post was written on the very day of the June solstice. Which somehow lends credibility to not only the Tropic of Cancer, but also this taste-bud thing. Which, I’ve decided, is definitely true AND the official reason for my triplets switching up their berry preference.
Here’s the good news: even if their favorite fruits and berries change every now and again, at least they’re eating a lot of fruits and berries. And I have my wife to thank for that. She’s always been a stickler for a good diet and I’m just so glad that the kids have taken to fruits (and vegetables — asparagus, anyone?) as much as they have.
Which is why I really do think the triplets would like Wendy’s new Berry Almond Chicken salad. You can get them pretty much anywhere there’s a Wendy’s (I wonder if there’s one at the Tropic of Cancer?), and we’ve got a bunch where I live. Which means if I’m ever in a pickle and need some lunch for myself and some fruit for my kiddos, I can just zip in there.
What’s more, I won’t have to keep up with which triplet likes which berry because every single salad comes with fresh strawberries and blueberries. And that, of course, means that Sam, Jack and Kirby will each delight in the salad. Because they’ll not only love the fruit, but they’ll also love the raspberry Vinaigrette dressing that comes with it.
Plus, they’ve been talking a mean game about salads since I’ve been on this new diet. You know, since they see me eating salads all the time. So this will be a good way to see if they’re ready to go all lettuce on me.
But even if they’re not, they’re more than ready to pick the berries off the top. I’ll have to pay close attention to see which triplet picks which berry. You know. Just in case their taste buds have changed again!