Will You or Will You Not … Write a Will?

writingHey gang! Guess what I’m trying to do?! (She asked, multiple exclamation marks conveying enthusiasm!!!)


*Crickets softly chirp*

*Shoulders slump*

*Smiles fade to an expression of grim resolve*

Yup. That’s what I thought you’d say.

It’s 2014. I’ve been married for 13 years, I’ve had children, I’m a mature woman with responsibilities, but if the unthinkable should happen, then I guess … maybe a … Viking funeral? The point is, nobody would know.

My husband and I have been paying a lot of lip service to the idea of doing our will, and finally the time is now. (The time was actually 13 years ago, but whatever, I forgive us.)

Believe me, it’s horrible. I’ve been crying non-stop about it, and all I’ve done so far is have a meeting with an attorney to discuss “first steps.” But no matter how much I personally hate talking about/thinking about/breathing the word W-I-L-L, this needs to get done, and if I leave it in the hands of my husband, it never will.

Cut to me: doing it by myself.

It’s OK. There are some things a person can’t handle, and this happens to be one of them. For reasons I do not know, for some reason generally, and I do mean generally, anecdotally, and not necessarily in a way that indicates a hard and fast rule about the gender divide — it’s harder to get dudes to think about drawing up a will … (She pondered aloud meekly, bracing herself for the inevitable blowback.)

And so I have grown weary of bolting up at 3 o’clock in the morning, my mind racing with thoughts of where my children would end up if we didn’t have a plan for them. A traveling circus? A roving band of charming 19th century Cockney chimney sweeps?

I’m tired of night after night of fret-sweats and underarm stress dampness — I’M MAKING A PLAN. THIS IS HAPPENING. Except in 2014, it’s not happening TO me, I’m happening to IT.

I mean, slowly though (as the river of tears issuing forth from my eyes threatens to short circuit my laptop).

Baby steps. Deep breaths.

Image courtesy of Flickr.

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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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