10 Things My Baby Hates About You

This baby may hate you.

You and me specifically. Perhaps me even more specifically since I’m the one on the job 24/7 most of the time, but others have been guilty of pissing Vivi off and woe be unto them for doing such a thing because she has some vocal chords and very little issue with using them. We’re well aware of what a – spirited – baby we have and there’s a very good chance that we’re sooo in for it in the coming (let’s be honest) 17 years.

She may be all sunshine and rainbows on the outside, but under all that adorable charm? Lurks a baby who hates things that I do, that you do, that we all do, and isn’t afraid to show it.

Vivi may hate you…

  • …if you wipe her nose. 1 of 10
    ...if you wipe her nose.
    Vivi's first runny nose happened when I was out of town, I received a text from the sitter that said "Wiping your baby's nose is a surefire way to make her HATE YOU." Sure enough, she hated having her nose wiped, she's still not a huge fan. Thankfully I found Boogie Wipes and they seem to keep the tears to a minimum, but if I don't have any and I have to use a regular old tissue? WATCH OUT, because baby is going to make her displeasure known.
  • …if you try to lay her down in the tub. 2 of 10
    ...if you try to lay her down in the tub.
    Once Vivi outgrew the sink I never put her in a baby bathtub, I'd just fill her tub with a few inches of water, lay her on her back and scrub away. She loved it! She kicked and splashed like the happiest baby in the world! Once she learned how to sit however, laying down is no longer an acceptable option for her. Unfortunately the only way to really get into all those folds is to lay her down, I can only describe it as wrestling a shrieking, slippery, thrashing, mad-as-hell alligator. Yay! Bathtime!
  • …if you don’t share with her. 3 of 10
    ...if you don't share with her.
    Addie never liked candy, still doesn't to this day, which means Cody and I have been able to have the occasional treat right in front of her face without a fight. Vivi on the other hand doesn't even know what half the stuff we eat is and yet she DEMANDS IT WITH EVERY CELL IN HER BODY. Hooray for her being so willing to try new things but I'm not quite ready to share my birthday cupcakes with her. Sorry baby, scream all you want but you're sweet enough as is.
  • …if you try to make her stand up. 4 of 10
    ...if you try to make her stand up.
    It's something all parents do as their baby learns to pull up - you hold them out in front of you with two fingers and try to get them to stand on their own. That is unless that baby is like Vivi. Then you hold them out in front of you and they buck like a pissed off bronco and fall bonelessly to the ground. Vivi stands on her OWN TERMS. Try and convince, suggest or force otherwise? Peace be with you, for Vivi is no longer your friend.
  • …if you look for new teeth. 5 of 10
    ...if you look for new teeth.
    When dealing with a grouchy baby, the most logical thing to check for aside from a temperature is for new teeth attempting to make their way through their gums. Many babies I know welcome the counter pressure on their sore gums and let you explore their mouth for new chompers at will. Not Vivi. Vivi will let your finger in and then bite you. Hard. It's a scary place in that baby's mouth. She could have seven molars in there for all I know, she won't let me check.
  • …if you try to get stuff out of her mouth. 6 of 10
    ...if you try to get stuff out of her mouth.
    Thankfully Vivi has an easily recognizable naughty face, that's it up above. If her mouth is closed and her lips are pursed it means there's something in there that isn't supposed to be. As the mom it's my job to fish it out. Now if you'll remember from the previous slide, Vivi hates hands in her mouth, she hates them even more when they're trying to dig stuff out. It's risky business digging stuff out of her cheeks, but it's in the job description. With Addie and her little choke-y toys around I've dug out Barbie shoes and Squinkies, but the most unfortunate was kitty litter. Ew.
  • …if she’s not ready to sleep. 7 of 10
    ...if she's not ready to sleep.
    Vivi is easy to put to bed, assuming she's ready to go to sleep. If she doesn't feel you've snuggled her a sufficient amount or tucked her blanket just so, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT IT. I can lay her in her crib fast asleep and before I can make it out the door she is standing with giant fat tears rolling down her face sobbing at the injustice of being left all alone in her room to do something as trivial as sleep.
  • …if you don’t give her your phone. 8 of 10
    ...if you don't give her your phone.
    Look at that face, it basically says "Give me all the things you have because I'm cute." What's sad is that it works on suckers like grandparents and friends. Cody and I know better, give the baby an iPod and you'll never be allowed to look at your iPod in silence in the presence of the baby again. My dad made the mistake of letting Vivi hold his iPhone when we first got to Utah. Little did he know it was basically like giving her crack cocaine and she'd watch him like a hawk to make sure he didn't use his phone without her knowing about it.
  • …if you turn your back on her. 9 of 10
    ...if you turn your back on her.
    Turn your back on this baby and she will whimper and sob like you just threw her bunny in the diaper pail. Even though she's now mobile she's horribly afraid she's going to miss something if she's not right there with you. If her dad walks out of the room on her (or worse, heads upstairs?) ALL BETS ARE OFF. The baby cries like she has lost everything that matters to her in this world.
  • …if you put her down. 10 of 10
    ...if you put her down.
    Vivi enjoys a view from up high, perhaps it's because she's been worn so much. She likes to look out windows, touch the photos hanging on the walls and basically see things the way we see them. However, she's closing in on 25+ pounds which means that's a lot of baby to carry around, at some point I have to put her down and when I do? It's like having a tiny ticked off Tasmanian devil at my feet demanding I return her to her rightful position up high.

What does your baby hate?


Find more Casey on her blog, twitter, Pinterest, Flickr and facebook.

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