A Letter to My “Touch-Me-Not” Twin

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Dearest Little One:

We made it through the holidays! You did so good! I was quietly watching you; I promise I wasn’t far from you, baby girl.

I know that your twin sister loves to be held and loves to snuggle with anyone that will hold her. I know that you are more reserved and less inclined to cuddle up to just anyone. I know that certain fabrics seem to irritate you more than sister. I know when you look uncomfortable in someone’s arms. I know you nap better when you aren’t being held.

I was close by. I was able to swoop in and rescue you a few times. I made sure you could nap without being touched. I made sure you were put down where you could observe us, without being fussed over.

It’s hard to explain to people that you are an introvert at such a young age.

It’s hard to make them see that you and your twin sister are two different little people. They don’t mean to see you both as one unit, but sometimes they do. Even though you are fraternal and differ in so many, many ways, some people assume that you are both the same. They assume that since one baby girl loves to be held all the time, that the other baby girl must love it too. It’s hard to explain that a baby needs space when most babies want only to be near someone.

I think it’s wonderful that you already have an independent streak and I love you for it. I have known for so long that you and your sister have strikingly different personalities. I knew it when I was carrying you both. I knew it at the ultrasounds appointments. I could tell which baby they were looking at just based off of how you moved and acted during the ultrasound.

As young as you are, I feel that you have already mastered the art of patience. At only 3 months old, you’ve learned a virtue that, for some people, takes a lifetime. You are very tolerant when the grandparents don’t want to put you down. You are very tolerant of aunts and uncles that fuss over you. You are very tolerant of older cousins that want to hold you. You have so much patience for someone so young, but when you are tired or moody, that patience wears thin and you need to be put down. I know that sometimes just being near me or your dad is enough. Just knowing that we are close, being able to see us, and hear us is all you require.

I read an article, Have You Hugged Your Twins Today?, that talked about this very thing. It seems that it is perfectly normal to have one twin that loves to cuddle and one who doesn’t. I will share this with our families and make sure they know that you don’t always want to be cuddled. I will educate them on what to do if you look uncomfortable while being held. I won’t let you go this alone. I will make sure that you don’t miss any time with your family and make sure that you have your space at the same time.

I will try my best to make sure that you have everything you need to be happy. If that means a little more space than your sister, then I will make sure you have it. We will be ready for all of the holidays to come; we will have a game plan that will keep you happy. I will be close by and we will enjoy all the holidays together. I love you, my little “touch-me-not.”

With so very much love,

Mama Bear



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