Baby Crap I Would NEVER Buy

Parents will buy anything!

In the past couple weeks I have seen a rash of absolutely ridiculous baby products come across my inbox. Whether they were through Google alerts or friends just emailing me saying, “Can you just blog about this… PLEASE?!”

I have to admit on one hand, some of the stuff is absolutely unnecessary, and on the other, I am positive new parents would agree they absolutely must have these things for their new baby. I know because when I was pregnant with my first child I had to have it all, too. Unfortunately I learned very quickly I fell victim to elaborate marketing schemes designed to target new parents.

They get ya!

So I figured as a seasoned veteran now who  has been through the first-year stage almost three full times, I would put together a list of stuff I would never ever-ever buy!

I mean come on … does your bald baby really need a hair piece? Lets be serious here, people!

And I am not just saying that because my 10-month-old has insanely long hair either … even if she was bald I wouldn’t be splurging on hair pieces for her!

What are some of the baby products you absolutely would never buy for your baby?

  • Pee Pee Tee Pee 1 of 10
    Pee Pee Tee Pee
    The pee pee tee pee!
    After making it through two boys with very little "pee incidents" I absolutely wouldn't invest in these.
    Especially since my kids were never still enough for one of these to actually STAY ON during a diaper change.
    But hey! If you want them go for it!
    Buy Pee Pee Tee Pee's Here!
  • The Babykeeper 2 of 10
    The Babykeeper
    For me I have so many bones to pick with this one on so many different levels.
    One I would never dangle my infant from the crotch like that. How UNCOMFORTABLE does that look?
    Diaper or not, I wouldn't want to be hanging by my girl bits!
    Second - Those public bathroom doors are less than sturdy to me! I wouldn't take my baby and hang them from the door to pee.
    The whole thing just reeks of an accident waiting to happen!
    But alas - if the Baby keeper is something you would like you can buy it below!
    Buy the Babykeeper Here
  • The Baby Mop 3 of 10
    The Baby Mop
    So apparently some parents think your baby is an actual mop.
    To me I always thought you are supposed to clean the floor before letting your infant explore around.
    I mean, I wouldn't be putting my daughter down on a dirty floor to explore and clean for me.
    Would you?
    For more on The Baby Mop Click Here
  • Baby Perfume! 4 of 10
    Baby Perfume!
    Yup! Your baby needs to smell their best for all of their big appearances at the pediatrician and of course your play group!
    Honestly I think new baby smell is the best smell ever anyway!
    Really? I am a grown woman and don't even care for perfume! There is no way I would invest in a bottle for my baby. No way!
    Would you buy baby perfume?
    To buy Baby Perfume Click Here
  • Baby Bangs 5 of 10
    Baby Bangs
    Yup! If you have a bald baby you can go out and get them Baby Bangs!
    A headband which is a fake hair piece geared towards little girls.
    What in the hell will they come up with next?
    See more on Baby Bangs Here
  • The Peekaru 6 of 10
    The Peekaru
    I am kind of torn on this one... I think that for people who are really into baby wearing it is kind of one of those must have products.
    And as someone who wears my kids all the time... even my older children I just can'tjustify the price tag for something I could use a blanket to do.
    Check out the Peekaru here
  • The 7 of 10
    No! Just NO!
    Maybe it is just me but bad teeth isn't hysterical to me at all!
    I get they are a joke but come on parents... come on!
    Buy the "Redneck Pacifier" on Amazon
  • The Tummy Tub 8 of 10
    The Tummy Tub
    The tummy tub, or as I call it... a bucket!
    I am not exactly sure how this tub can enhance your bonding time with your baby or even how it ended up being such a popular baby tub!
    PEOPLE! You can go to the local handyman store and get a bucket for half the price!
    I will stick with our old fashioned torturous baby bath tub!
    Buy the "Check out The Tummy Tub here
  • The Buster Vacuum Cleaner 9 of 10
    The Buster Vacuum Cleaner
    Wondering how this is a baby product?
    Oh it is designed as a ride on toy for your baby!
    Of course like the baby mop... put your infant to work cleaning at a young age!
    For more on The Buster Vacuum
  • Thud Guard 10 of 10
    Thud Guard
    Look! A helmet for your baby!
    The thud guard is to help protect your baby once they get mobile... good luck with that if you try to get your kid to keep it on without a complete melt down though!
    My daughter HAS to wear a helmet and it is a battle to put it on once she has had it off for her allotted time for the day.
    Let kids be KIDS!
    For more on The Thud Guard

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Article Posted 5 years Ago

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