Baby Wants Bling!

baby wants blingTo: Mommy

From: Baby N

Re: Jewelry

It has come to my attention that you have recently started to wear jewelry. I have to say that I am all for this addition to your style lexicon. This winter was pretty frumpy for you and it’s past time you added an little glitz to the wardrobe. It’s ok that most of it comes from Target or H&M. It’s the effort that matters. And every girl needs something a little sparkly, don’t you agree?

That last question was rhetorical. It’s obvious from your behavior that your don’t agree even a little. You think you’re the only one who can wear jewelry and, frankly, I think it’s selfish.┬áBaby wants bling, yo!

Ok, I get that you’re not going to hand over you engagement ring no matter how many times I grab at the diamond. Fine. It was a gift, yeah, yeah, I get it. But the necklace Daddy gave you for Christmas? The one with my name on it? Hand it over. It’s my turn to wear it. Or at least let me scrape the edges of the lavalier-shaped charm along your collarbones as I fidget with it. Is that too much to ask?

And the earrings. Mommy. You have you ears pierced EIGHT TIMES. You are wearing the equivalent of four pairs of earrings. That’s egregious. You need to share the wealth there. Don’t tell me to stop grabbing at them. You have more than enough to spare some for me.

Finally, your glasses. I know you don’t consider them jewelry and use some excuse like “I need them to see” but I think that’s just a gambit you’re using to throw me off. Those things are shiny and I want them.

I think that in the future you should employ a one for you, one for me methodology when shopping for jewelry. Once my own collection is established, I will stop yanking at yours.

Photo credit: photo stock

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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