Did Our Date Night Damage My Baby's Fragile Psyche?

Fancy hair for date night.

Hi. My name is Lauren and I left my baby in the care of someone other than myself before the age of three months.


My baby is currently five weeks old and this past weekend my husband and I went on a date. We were gone for around two hours and Fern was left in the care of her obsessively adoring grandparents.

BUT, according to my midwives, extreme proponents of attachment parenting, I could have irreversibly damaged my baby’s fragile developing psyche.

Read why after the jump….

At my one-week appointment my midwives told me that I should never be away from my baby for the first three months of her life in order for her to have healthy, positive attachment. The way that they talked about it, it seemed like leaving my child for any amount of time was going to drive her onto a therapists couch later in life. This felt incredibly overwhelming. I remember thinking, “Three months?!  They can’t be serious!”

Well, I decided to break the rules with date night. It was mine and my husband’s 10 year dating anniversary, so I got my hair cut, colored and prettied up at the amazing Lucas Salon here in Portland and armed with a fabulous hairdo and a pair of heels headed out to dinner. It wasn’t a long date, but I came back feeling like a new woman. I came back feeling smitten with my husband and excited to see my baby instead of feeling exhausted and worn down.

I understand that every woman is different, but for me, getting out of the house and connecting with another part of myself other than the mommy part made me feel reenergized and more prepared to take on my role as a mother. I honestly feel like I will be a better mama if I’m able to get away and take breaks. If I start feeling worn down and become resentful toward my role as a mama that, in my opinion, would be far more detrimental to my baby’s psyche than leaving her with family members who love her.

Apparently I’m not really cut out for attachment parenting and I’m ok with that.

What’s your take?

How long did you wait before leaving your baby for a date night or time out by yourself?

Read more from Lauren at The Little Things We Do

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Read more on Baby’s First Year from Lauren:

“I Ate My Placenta!” And Other Reasons Motherhood Has Turned Me Into A Hippy
My Favorite Photos From Baby’s First Month
Cute Baby Cell Phone Photo Roundup

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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