Babies: They’re cute. They’re cuddly. They’re homicidal.
OK, not quite, but blogger Sarah Kooiman makes a pretty convincing case in her piece “9 Ways Babies Are Like Serial Killers” on The Huffington Post. My personal favorite involves woodland creatures.
I humbly suggest, however, that Kooiman left out a few. I would add:
*They are deceptively sweet and charming …and then, under the cover of night, they turn on you big time.
*Speaking of turning on you, they can give you stink eye so intense you’ll cry out for your own mommy.
*They’ve been known to try to gouge your eyes out. (Accidentally, or so the baby apologists claim…)
*The teething ones tend to chomp on you — your shoulder, your hand or (ouch!!) your nipple — with Hannibal Lecter-like ferocity.
*They’re as perfect and precious as baby dolls. “Chucky” was a doll. You see where I’m going with this…
Got ideas of your own? Add them in the comments section below!
More from Alice:
7 Murphy’s Laws of Feeding Your Child Ice Cream
Photo via morgueFile.