If Baby Paul Could Talk. Oh Hey…

Sometimes I wonder what baby Paul would really say, if he could talk. Sure, he cries when he needs something. And he laughs a ton when we talk sweet to him. But what is he really thinking of his crazy life?

I’m guessing he’s funny, but with a touch of sarcasm. Polite, yet willing to stand up for himself.

I’m guessing his inner monologue goes a little something like this:

11 “oh hey” moments from baby Paul’s week:

  • I’m on the internet! 1 of 11
    I'm on the internet!
    Oh hey, I found this really amazing website called Babble. There are some totes adorbs babies featured on the site. Oh wait...that little boy looks familiar.
  • Cold spoon down my pants! 2 of 11
    Cold spoon down my pants!
    Oh hey, this week my mom told the internet how to sooth me while I cut some chops. She failed to mention that while I do love chilled spoons in my mouth, they are way less awesome when they fall into my pants. I really need to figure out how to control my thumbs better.
  • This! Is! Nasty! 3 of 11
    This! Is! Nasty!
    Oh hey, I do not like prunes. I don't care if they make me poop. Get this brown mush away from me!
  • X marks the spot. 4 of 11
    X marks the spot.
    Oh hey, since I know you're going to put a pic of me on the internet taking a bath, I'm gonna put this plastic little letter over my baby bits. I'm modest!
  • We’re insane! 5 of 11
    We're insane!
    Oh hey woman, I think you've lost your mind, taking four kids with you shopping for groceries. Seriously, I'm the only one out of the four that didn't act like a baby!
  • I will not stand for this. 6 of 11
    I will not stand for this.
    Oh hey, just because you want me to stand on my own two feet for a photo doesn't mean I have to comply. Hold me, I'm a baby.
  • Oblivious. 7 of 11
    Oh hey, everybody is gathered around me, telling me what a good baby I am. Wait, what's in their hands? Do I see a syringe? Am I at the doctor? Is this real life?
  • There’s a rap lyric here somewhere. 8 of 11
    There's a rap lyric here somewhere.
    Oh hey, this reminds me of the rap music mom plays when she's cleaning the house. "Little in the middle cuz he's got much lap..."
  • Sucka. 9 of 11
    Oh hey, everyone keeps telling me this is cute, so I'm going to roll with it.
  • I’m not your puppet. 10 of 11
    I'm not your puppet.
    Oh hey, I know you take like 30 thousand photos of me a day. No offense, but I'm not going to look or smile in every one.
  • Creepy Sunflowers 11 of 11
    Creepy Sunflowers
    Oh hey, why you leave me sitting under this freaky looking sunflower tree? Move me now, please and thanks.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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