If My Baby Could Tweet…

Probably the funniest account on Twitter is the Honest Toddler. I don’t know who is behind that but it’s a no-fail winner of 140 character humor that every parent (and most non-parents) will find hilarious. Scrolling through Honest Toddler’s tweets can make me laugh, cry and sometimes do both at the same time. There’s a blog that goes with it which is very funny, too, but it’s the Twitter feed that really shines for me.

Reading Honest Toddler’s tweets made me wonder what my baby would tweet if she could, you know, read. And manage not to short out my phone by drooling on it. If I had to guess what she’d say on Twitter, this is what it might sound like:

  • Dinner is Unfair 1 of 10
    Dinner is Unfair
    Why do babies have to eat baby food?
  • Big Kid Toys! 2 of 10
    Big Kid Toys!
    Big brother has the tastiest looking stuff.
  • What Time Is It? 3 of 10
    What Time Is It?
    Party time!
  • Fighting Gravity 4 of 10
    Fighting Gravity
    What? I can fly!
  • Sniffles Suck 5 of 10
    Sniffles Suck
    And so does that sucker thing.
  • Overplayed 6 of 10
    Just. Stop. Singing.
  • Wearer Beware 7 of 10
    Wearer Beware
    That'll teach you to wear fancy stuff.
  • Fashion victim 8 of 10
    Fashion victim
    I hate that shirt, yo.
  • Cause and Effect 9 of 10
    Cause and Effect
    What happens if I pinch...right there!
  • Drivers Ed 10 of 10
    Drivers Ed
    Let me tell you how I really feel about riding rear facing.

Tweet template courtesy of Geek Sugar.

Photo credit: photo stock


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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