Lets Tell it Like it is: 10 Common Baby Items and Their Real Names

Exersaucer? How about neglect-a-saucer.

Companies spend millions doing research and hiring experts to come up with the perfect names for their products.

But when it comes to baby toys and foods, any mom can tell you in a nanosecond what they should really be called because we know what they’re really used for.

Behold: Ten baby items and what they should be called, as opposed to the name on the package:



  • Goodnight Soon 1 of 10
    Goodnight Soon
    It's the classic children's book that has been cherished at bedtime for generations because of the quiet poetry of words and lulling illustrations that are a perfect way to say a gentle goodbye to the end of the day.
    And because it's only 114 words that you can recite quickly and from memory, you can get on with your night sooner rather than later.
    Photo credit:
  • Neglect-a-saucer 2 of 10
    A variety of interchangeable toys? Check! Rocks, spins and bounces? Check, check, check! Adjustable height? Check! Safer alternative to walkers? Check!
    The cheapest babysitter you'll ever have? CHECK!
    Photo credit:
  • Paciquieter 3 of 10
    Pacifiers are recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics because they can help prevent SIDS. They can also ease stress in babies by helping stimulate the release of certain chemicals in the brain.
    But the fact that they can make most babies stop crying on a dime is the real reason you keep scores of them in every room in your house (not to mention in every pants and jacket pocket, as well as in the car).
    Photo credit:
  • Peek-A-You 4 of 10
    It's not like your baby is some kind of loner and that's why you never schedule any playdates. It's just that when they're under a certain age — not talking, crawling and still drooling — between naps and feeding schedules, trying to arrange for a time to visit with other little ones is like trying to get on the President's calendar during an election year — it's impossible.
    That's why mirrors come in handy: so your baby can rest easy knowing there are people in the world smaller (and much cuter) than adults.
    Photo credit:
  • Me Time 5 of 10
    Me Time
    Yes, technically they're a "snack," but anyone who's ever given a handful of the toasted whole grain cereal chocked full of calcium, fiber and iron to a little baby and watched them try (and fail and then try and fail again) to pick up the little round O's one by one with those tiny fingers knows that it's a 30-minute minimum endeavor.
    Hello, "Me-Time!"
    Photo credit:
  • Our Problems Should Always Be This Bad 6 of 10
    Our Problems Should Always Be This Bad
    You might be ready to pull out your hair because you can't escape the annoying melodies of this musical rattle even when you're sleeping. But the reality is that little people have little problems, and big people have much bigger ones.
    May the grating noise this toy makes always be the biggest pet peeve about your offspring.
    Photo credit:
  • The Super Pooper Solution 7 of 10
    The Super Pooper Solution
    Is there another reason to ever give a baby prunes?
    Photo credit:
  • Fishies Swim, You Sleep 8 of 10
    Fishies Swim, You Sleep
    Gaze at the mama fish swimming through the water and see how the little tiny baby follows her! Listen to the lovely classical music play one of five songs as the bubbles go up! up! up! See how the itty-bitty crab plays peek-a-boo behind the coral!
    Photo credit:
  • Substitute Mommy 9 of 10
    Substitute Mommy
    Yes, he's big, purple and extinct, and you're, well, you're not. But if there were ever an acceptable stand-in for you, the giant Triassic-era creature would be it.
    That is, as long as the line is drawn at Barney. Because if your baby starts confusing you for DJ or Baby Bop, take the baby and run far, far away.
    Photo credit:
  • You Needed a Bath Anyway 10 of 10
    You Needed a Bath Anyway
    Teething biscuits work wonders on aching gums when those little pearly whites are still on the inside but just itching to get out. They also render otherwise clean babies a filthy mess. No one gives a freshly bathed baby a teething biscuit.
    But if a teething baby needs a bath anyway? Bring on the biscuits!
    Photo credit:

Follow Meredith Carroll on Twitter

Article Posted 4 years Ago

Videos You May Like