Ever breastfed a hungry baby while engaged in a brutal battle with a horrific case of diarrhea?
The responsibilities of motherhood, especially new motherhood, don’t end even when you really, really need them to. That’s why moms find themselves multitasking in ways they never thought possible before having children.
That’s why a previously safe driver may suddenly find herself attempting to make a bottle while rocketing down the freeway at 65 miles per hour. That’s why a formerly prudish type person may find herself having sex with a sleeping baby in the room and even attempting to rock the cradle with her foot while simultaneously trying to giver her husband The Business.
Multitasking is as much a part of motherhood as feeding your child. In fact, multitasking usually involves feeding your child. Does this look familiar? Yes. Yes it does. Painfully familiar. But she’s making it look like a well choreographed ballet. Sometimes it doesn’t work out so well.
A study shows mom’s multitasking is a full-time job. Which, DUH. We could’ve saved your research dollars and told you that already, American Sociological Review.
The study of 368 U.S. mothers and 241 fathers found that women spend nearly 10 hours more per week multitasking while at home than working fathers. That is 48.3 hours of multitasking each week for mom, 38.9 hours per week for dad. There is hardly enough time in the day to complain about being too busy.
So just how intense can multitasking get? Below are ten major multitasking mom moments that may or may not have worked out so well.
Let’s hear your multitasking moments of success or epic failure! Tell me in the comments below: What little systems have you rigged up in an effort to get the job done and keep everyone happy?
Toilet Times 1 of 10What? Like you've never had diarrhea? Girl, please. Violet's going to be horrified to learn I've not only read her stories while she sat on my lap and I battled my bowels, I've also breastfed her and her little brother while on the toilet. They eat while I eliminate. I like to think of it as the circle of life — it's nicer that way.
Bottle Business 2 of 10Raise your hand if you've ever mixed up a bottle for a screaming kid while driving. 'Nuff said. Go ahead, tell me I'm dangerous. I don't care. YOU try moving two kids under two and two frisky black labs across the country and see what tactics you resort to. If I could change a diaper while driving, I would.
Sex and Baby 3 of 10You gotta do what you gotta do. I distinctly recall trying to get frisky with my fella with Violet crying in her cradle next to our bed. I was able to please my man while rocking her cradle with my foot. BOOO YA! Multitasking like a mofo! I should've made my weekly phone call to mom and crossed that off the list too!
Image: The Healing Group
Breastfeeding On The Go 4 of 10I didn't exactly attempt the stunning feat pictured above — God love this multitasking mama — but at least three creepy old dudes saw my boobs when I had to breastfeed while grocery shopping at Walmart. You can read about it here on my personal blog. Seriously, a kid's gotta eat and so does the rest of the family so if a gal has to whip 'em out while grocery shopping for dinner SO BE IT.
Pump Where They Dump 5 of 10The news station where I used to work didn't have a proper nursing area. They claimed women could use the dressing room, but anchors and reporters were constantly bursting in and out of that room for make-up touch-ups. Not ideal. That made the disgusting restroom the only place to pump. I distinctly remember hearing a co-worker peeing while pumping and not only that — she was on a business call. Go ON with your bad self, sister friend!
When Exercise Is a Bad Thing 6 of 10I remember feeling really empowered one morning and deciding to take both kids and both dogs on a walk. Bad call, mama. I had Violet in the stroller, Henry in the Moby wrap and both dogs leashed to the stroller. Henry freaked. I stopped and attempted to breastfeed him while still in the Moby but the dogs dragged Violet in the stroller so there I am chasing the dogs who are dragging Violet, she's crying, I've got boob flapping everywhere. Eventually I'm crying, it was a mess. Moral of the story: don't try to walk your dogs, your kids and feed them at the same time. Epic fail.
The Leaky Boob 7 of 10
The Protesting Mom 8 of 10It was a good idea to take her to the protest. It probably wasn't the greatest idea to get in a yelling match with a homophobic religious zealot. But I hope Violet looks back and is proud that I combined motherhood with my fervent belief that everyone has a right to marry whomever they choose.
Brought To You While Typing With One Hand 9 of 10This is me any given day of the week. Except now Henry is old enough to try and tap at the keyboard instead of just lying quietly. Breastfed while typing with one hand, typing on the toilet while he plays with toiletpaper or tampons — done 'em all. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
Make-up, Momhood and Multitasking 10 of 10I chanced upon this little discovery when trying to apply make-up one day. Violet didn't want me to put her down but she didn't yet like being carried in her Bjorn. I'd stuff her in this sack while I got dressed, applied make-up and did my hair. As you can see, worked like a charm.
You can also find Monica Bielanko on her personal blog, The Girl Who.
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