Seven Baby Toys That Are Better Than the Real ThingAlice Gomstyn
It’s no secret that babies love to grab at everything, including mommy and daddy’s belongings — our phones, our earrings, our keys, etc. But sometimes that love comes with disastrous consequences…which is why it makes perfect sense that there’s a thriving market for baby toys that mimic the real thing. We parents want our infants to have their own stuff so they stop breaking/eating/pooping on our stuff!
But for world-weary adults, sometimes the baby stuff actually seems cooler than the real stuff…or, at the very least, less annoying. Check out seven baby toys that might have parents wishing they were kids again.
7 Baby Toys That Are Better Than The Real Thing 1 of 8
Don't you wish everything could be as fun as a baby toy?
Bears 2 of 8
Teddy bears are fun to cuddle with. Real bears: Not so much. Some toy bears even come with cool features: VTech's Cody the Smart Cub can "say" your child's name and play music when you squeeze his paws. Try squeezing a real bear's paws and...scratch that, DON'T ever try squeezing a real bear's paws. If you're ever close enough to touch a wild bear -- RUN. Save yourself...
And later, when you're curled up in the fetal position trying to recover from the ordeal, maybe cuddle with Cody?
Police Cars 3 of 8
You know what's cute? Pretending your crawling baby is being pulled over for a speeding ticket You know what's not cute? Actually being pulled over for a speeding ticket.
Fortunately, toy police cars are also usually much cheaper than your standard speeding ticket. Plus, a toy police car will never follow you on a highway, signal you to the shoulder of the road and then ask for your license and registration. At least I hope not. If that does happen, call the real police!
Shopping Carts 4 of 8
I have a lot of gripes when it comes to shopping carts: cramming large loads into carts that are too small, maneuvering sticky wheels, risking arrest when you want to push them past the confines of the store parking lot. With toy shopping carts, you can be secure in the knowledge that you can stroll with them almost anywhere without winding up on an episode of "Cops."
Bonus: If they come with fake food -- like VTech's 2-in-1 Shop & Cook Playset -- then you can throw the faux produce in the cart in any way you'd like without crushing your tomatoes...or your spirit.
Trains 5 of 8
Every rail commuter knows the frustration of arriving at the train station just in time to watch the train leave...without you on it. But if your baby's toy train passes you by, it's no big deal -- just have junior wheel it right back around! As far as actually getting a seat aboard this train? Um, good luck with that...
Laptops 6 of 8
Sure, grown-up laptops have entertaining things like Facebook and iTunes, but they might also be home to spreadsheets, quarterly reports and PowerPoint presentations. Baby laptops like VTech's Light-Up Laptop don't have social networking, but they do play happy music and promote the use of letters and numbers in a fun way -- not in a soul-crushing, enter-them-into-an-Excel-chart sort of way.
Tempted as you might be, however, don't swap your laptop for the baby kind...unless your boss really enjoys hearing "Skip to My Lou" played at the office.
Keys 7 of 8
Lose your baby's toy keys and you might have to spend a couple of bucks to replace them. Lose your real keys and get ready to spend hundreds to get your locks changed...well, either that or lie awake at night worrying about whether a criminal mastermind has happened upon your keys, determined your home address and is now plotting to steal your beloved mouse pad.
Phones 8 of 8
Your landline receives telemarketer calls, political candidate robocalls and pleas from charities that make you feel like an awful person for not giving. Your smartphone is vulnerable to butt-dialing, sticky keys and shattered screens. Lose it or break it and you might be out $100 or more.
Baby phones play delightful music, receives zero annoying phone calls, can be smashed every which way with nary a scratch and will cost, at most, about $10 to replace. Of course butt-dialing is no problem either -- the phone doesn't actually call or text anyone, so let that little tushy go to town!
More from Alice: