As a mom of three, I hardly get any time to myself. I’ll try to squeeze in an extra minute in the shower or have a rare minute to myself when the kids are napping, but that is few and far between. Most of my day is spent shuffling one child to preschool, another home in time to get a good nap, all while working around the baby’s schedule.
Macks is still 99 percent exclusively breastfed, which means he is with me nearly 24 hours a day. It’s become a routine for him to be attached to me in some way while going about my day and taking care of the girls and things around the house. When he needs to nurse, I’ll just stop what I’m doing, nurse him for 20 minutes, and then go back to what I was doing before. Up until recently I never put much thought into when or how I fed him. As long as he was eating and satisfied, I’d just do it the most effective way for me to try to be productive while he ate.
A couple of days ago as I sat down and nursed him on the couch, he began to grab my finger. As he grabbed it, he looked directly into my eyes and smiled. For the next 10 minutes, he held tight onto my finger and smiled at me in between gulps of milk. Rather than catching up on emails on my phone or scrolling through my Facebook feed like I usually do, I just sat there and stared at him, smiling back. An immediate rush of calmness filled through my body.
Macks needed to eat, but I needed his company. We needed each other. It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day and focus on when nap time is or when the kids will go to bed for the night. I normally think that taking a moment away from our routines is going to destroy everything around me. But when I stopped and let everything around me stop as well, something incredible happened. Macks and I got a moment of togetherness. A moment where we connected and could just focus on our needs as mother and son.