The Second Baby Dilemma

It’s started. A great number of my friends–friends whose babies are Huck’s age or just barely older–have recently announced pregnancies. It’s just . . . I . . . help me out here, friends, because I cannot quite decipher my emotions on this one.

For one thing, too soon!! Oh yes, for me, too soon. I can’t even imagine being pregnant right now. I just got my groove back!

But for another thing, why do I sort of feel like maybe I am jealous a little bit?!? (Is this the dreaded Infertile Crazy Woman Bitterness Holdover?)

I want another baby. Not, like, this second, but soonish. Sooner than later. But what does that even mean? Do I want a newborn and a two-year-old? Because that puts us at January of next year. That’s practically tomorrow! Would I rather space things further and aim for a newborn and a three-year-old? Should I not try to “control” and just “let things happen?” (What? “Not control?” Whuh??)

My feelings on trying for a second come with all sorts of anxieties and questions and doubts.┬áIt took us two years to get Huck from the twinkle in my eye to the fetus in my uterus, so who is to say my plans for a newborn/three-year-old combo might happen on schedule? Maybe it’d take us two years again, and my Huck-as-a-toddler goal is foiled and becomes Huck-as-a-middle-schooler?!?

In that case, maybe since I know a second is welcome at any time, I should forget “planning” all together and just go for broke? (Survey says . . . I probably am not ready for this just yet.)

The more optimistic side of my brain thinks possibly I will take after the other lovely ladies in my family, who just needed some time to “get warmed up” before becoming “bananas fertile” all over the place and knocking out kids like it was no big thing. (I mean, knock on wood!)

So I’d like to know this from you lovely ladies: How did you approach your family planning? How far apart did you space your children? On purpose? And is two under two as suicidal as it seems? What about two under three? Bonus Math Question: If a 28-year-old, traveling North at 60mph toward inevitable menopause–wants three children before the age of 35 and an accompanying body that is somewhat continuously able to bounce back, what is the correct Average Time Span between Pregnancies to guarantee Optimum Happiness and Minimum Diapers To Be Changed?

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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