What Nursery Rhymes and Jersey Shore Have in Common

To a tiny baby (and to dogs, let’s be honest) it doesn’t really matter what you say to them, it’s how you say it. If I tell Vivi she’s about to get four shots with the same inflection as I would tell a dog I’m about to lay down a juicy steak for his chops only, she’s not going to be any wiser to what’s about to happen. “My mom! She’s making that squeaky voice again!” *flail flail smile smile*

With a six year old in my house I have to watch out what media shows up in front of her VERY OBSERVANT EYES. But when Addie’s at school? I’ve been known to recap the latest episode of Toddlers and Tiaras as well as recap the concert I went to where DJ Pauly D from Jersey Shore opened for Britney Spears to Vivi. (Complete with baby fist pumping.)

When Addie gets home it’s back to nursery rhymes and fairy tales. But have you ever *really* read some of these nursery rhymes we have been reciting for generations? Some of them are downright…barbaric.

Most everyone knows that “Ring a Round the Rosie” is rumored to be a song about the black plague. Nothing says “GO TO SLEEP LITTLE ONE!” like a good plague song. Don’t even get me started on the whole “rock a bye baby you’re about to fall out of a tree from these gale force winds” song.

The more you look into the history behind nursery rhymes the stranger their meaning becomes. There’s rumor that London Bridge is an obscure reference to Vikings burning bridges and burying children in foundations. Or there’s rumor that Baa Baa Black Sheep has something to do with slave trading and taxes. I’ve always been a little wary of the pumpkin eater who kept his wife very well in a pumpkin shell, look, I’ve seen what carved pumpkins can become after a few weeks and there’s nothing very well or good about any of it.

Come to think of it, Project Runway recaps may not be such a bad idea in comparison to some of these so called “nursery rhymes.” We have a book in our house called Monster Goose. Instead of Mistress Mary having silver bells and cockle shells she has cabbages waiting to eat her.

Needless to say, the next time I tell Vivi about the little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead? I’m going to follow it with the tale of the little girl in the beauty pageant with fake curls, fake teeth and a fake tan and how her mom will never ever be participating in such madness.

Any nursery rhyme conspiracies you’d like to share?

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