Who Said Motherhood Is Beautiful?

Harlow seemed pretty close to perfect at the hospital. Sure, she was wrinkly with chicken legs and looked vaguely like an old man, but she was an adorable old man to say the least.

Her skin was clear, her nasal cavity pristine and her eyes looked bright white and surprisingly alert.

Flash forward a few weeks and Harlow now has a blocked tear duct, a stuffy nose, chronic hiccups, and wait— is that a mild case of baby acne developing???

Harlow’s peaceful routine of eating, sleeping and pooping is now constantly interrupted for eye gunk extraction, tear duct massage and nose clearing with a lovely apparatus we call THE SNOT SUCKER.

Not to mention frequent diaper changes of grainy mustard colored poo.

Harlow, of course, cries through all of it. I would too.

Add a pretty consistent string of spit-up episodes (some directly into my bare cleavage)— and suddenly, being a new mom doesn’t seem quite as beautiful as it’s supposed to.

Don’t get me wrong. Harlow is awesome and she’s pretty unfussy as far as babies go. I just get the impression, when she gazes up at me with those wide, curious, slightly pissed-off eyes, she’s wondering why the hell she couldn’t have stayed in the womb where everything was warm, cozy, and devoid of  a complex tubing apparatus that Mommy keeps trying to stick up her nose.

If my memory serves me correctly, my first daughter, Mazzy had a blocked tear duct and a stuffy nose too. She also spit-up on the regular, using me as her personal burp cloth, regardless of the actual burp cloth lying untouched over my shoulder. They should really make burp smocks as opposed to the washcloth size variety, don’t you think?

But, this is what love is now. Cleaning spit-up out of your hair and sucking the snot out of someone else’s nose.

Thank god, it’s one adorable looking nose.

Even with the baby acne.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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