The most common question I get asked about my daughters is a relatively benign one, “How old are they?” but it’s the follow-up questions, or statements rather, that are jarring.
My daughters are 16 months and 20 months old. They have different biological families and I am in the midst of adopting them both from foster care. So yes, they ARE four months apart in age. So why do strangers insist on arguing with me about it?
The number of people that tell me it’s “impossible” for my daughters to be four months apart is shocking. Shocking because this is 2014, Modern Family is in its 5th season, and well … one of my daughters is black and the other is white. They look absolutely nothing alike. In addition to that, neither of them looks anything like me. If someone is struggling with the math of pregnancy and delivery without it entering their mind that my daughters might not be my biological offspring, how is it that they aren’t struggling with the dominant and recessive genetic traits of my daughters’ skin, hair, and eye color?
I’ve concluded that perhaps people engage me about my daughters’ age as a poor (and not necessarily conscious) attempt to get an explanation about my family’s differences. Maybe it should be more acceptable for people to ask outright, “How did it come about that you’re the mom to these sweet little girls?” I’d much rather someone ask me that.
I have no problem explaining to others that my daughters are adopted. I’m proud of my little family and the way we came to be. As my daughters grow up they will face the same, if not more questions. Perhaps if it were more socially acceptable to just ask people about their family make-up, then less nonsense arguments will take up our time.