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29 Undeniable Truths About Having Long Hair

My long hair and I have a love-hate relationship. We’ve been together for most of my life, and while I love the occasional Elsa or Katniss braid, sometimes my long hair just gets in the way of life. But sure enough, every time I make a hair appointment to get it all chopped off, I have an amazing hair day that changes my mind.

So I decided to gather a pros-and-cons list to make the decision for me, including some personal anecdotes and experiences from fellow Babble editors. The results were pretty eye-opening.

Disclaimer: Reading this list may cause you to make an emergency hair appointment to cut off those super purdy, but super annoying locks.

Pros:

image source: megan sayers
image source: megan sayers
  1. It doubles as a scarf in winter.
  2. You can portray Lady Godiva in case you lose all of your cloths … and happen upon a horse.
  3. When you’re super annoyed with your long, luscious locks, they can easily be pulled back.
  4. You can do sweet Elsa or Katniss braids. (It’s such a good pro I had to mention it again.)

Cons:

image source: megan sayers
image source: megan sayers
  1. Your shower always turns into a bath. Whether you like it or not, your hair will inevitably become a drain cover.
  2. And you wind up spending more money on Drano than rent.
  3. It takes you about 10 years to describe the kind of cut you want to your hairdresser, and you still never come out looking like Blake Lively.
  4. Your partner never can tell when you’ve cut your hair, even if you’ve taken off five inches. FIVE INCHES!
  5. When it’s really windy out and you’re wearing a great new lip gloss, and then suddenly you are wearing “hair lip gloss.”
  6. Your friends text you photos of places they’ve found your hair in their apartment once you’ve left.
  7. There are two main ways to dispose of your hair in the shower: drain pickup and spider wall art.
  8. You will have to regularly check your butt for clumps of hair that have mysteriously found their way into your crack.
  9. You don’t know what’s worse: looking like Cousin Itt or The Ring girl.
  10. It almost always gets caught in the car door. (That’s one way to deal with split ends.)
  11. It makes the young look even younger and the old even older.
  12. By the end of the day, your hair is one big rat’s nest.
  13. Brushing!!! The pain of running a brush down that one big knot can be compared with child birth. (Well, maybe not entirely; but it hurts.)
  14. A convertible car ride is so romantic until a wad of hair blows right into your mouth.
  15. Your baby misinterprets it as a teething necklace.
  16. You have to fish it out of your bra, and it’s always during an important meeting. (No one saw that, right?!)
  17. It will clog your drain in ways you never thought imaginable. So much so, that when you finally build up the courage to make your partner unclog it, the results of what you pull out will have taken on the shape of a giant NYC subway rat.
  18. Until you had long hair, you never thought hair could hurt. Oh, the joy of ponytails …
  19. It gets caught in your partner’s beard after you kiss. And he doesn’t notice for awhile (and you don’t tell him).
  20. You will lose so much hair while brushing it, you could craft a full-sized wig with the leftovers.
  21. Cuddling will often be ruined by your partner leaning on/getting caught in/accidentally sleeping on your hair. And the pain of trying to detangle your hair from underneath their body will feel like the worst thing ever.
  22. There’s no way around it: you’re going to spend a fortune on conditioner.
  23. Your floor will have a wall-to-wall “hair rug” on it at all times, no matter how much you sweep. And it will get caught up in all your toes.
  24. Your dead ends have become dead middles.
  25. You will sometimes find it in your food. Sorry; it’s going to happen.

Yep — after these staggering results, I’ve realized that maybe I am the “short hair, don’t care” type after all, and have decided to take the plunge. (In three months, post-wedding.)

Until then, long live my #longhairproblems.

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