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40 (Realistic) Things to Do Before You Turn 40

turning 40 list
At the end of this year I will cross a threshold of achievement called my 40th birthday. Like most women my age, I started thinking about turning 40 sometime after turning 30. These thoughts started to get even louder as every year passed. This year, my 39th, I have done nothing to embrace my actual age. Instead I have been building my cocoon in preparation for the butterfly version of myself I am hoping will emerge when I turn 40.

We have been conditioned to be afraid of turning 40. Remember Sally’s meltdown in When Harry Met Sally?

Sally: [Crying hysterically] And I’m going to be 40!
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday!
Harry: In eight years!
Sally: But it’s there! It’s like a big dead end!

Only it can’t be the end. I’m not dreading turning 40. Not at all. I am running towards it at warp speed. I would be perfectly fine to fast-forward through my 30s because they have been a mess. I’d love to start fresh with this new decade. I’d really love to find some deep pockets of confidence and self-awareness.

I wondered if I should create a bucket list for myself. Tick-tock, just over 6 months to do some big stuff! Who doesn’t love an inspiring checklist of things to do or try? I looked online for some ideas and immediately laughed. These goals are certainly not anything I could achieve with the time I have before I turn 40! The first list I read was Business Insider’s “Experiences to Have Before You Turn 40.”

With suggestions like, “compete in the Ironman Triathlon,” “travel across Europe by train on the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express,” and “go yachting in Monaco or St-Tropez,” I was clearly holding the wrong-shaped bucket for my list.

Cosmopolitan magazine took it up a notch and created a list of 50 Things Every Woman Should Do Before She Dies. (!!) Since most of the ideas have a “Just go for it, lady!” tone I actually enjoyed this list. I mean who doesn’t need a nudge to eat dessert for breakfast?!

Clearly I needed to create my OWN list, a practical list, a manageable list, a list just right for a busy mom without an unlimited budget and private jet. After all, who wants to feel like a failure on the cusp of 40?!

40 (Realistic) Things to Do Before You Turn 40

1. Unrealistic Goal: Travel to all seven continents
Realistic Goal: Put my feet in the ocean

image source: thinkstock
image source: thinkstock

2. Unrealistic Goal: Pay off all my debt
Realistic Goal: Continue to pay down my credit card every month

3. Unrealistic Goal: See a gynecologist, dermatologist, and primary care doctor
Realistic Goal: Oh yes, I absolutely should do this

4. Unrealistic Goal: Have teeth professionally whitened
Realistic Goal: Have a cleaning at the dentist

5. Unrealistic Goal: Completely change my look
Realistic Goal: Get a new haircut and maybe splurge for a fancy salon

6. Unrealistic Goal: Swim with the sharks
Realistic Goal: Go to the aquarium

7. Unrealistic Goal: Try something new
Realistic Goal: Actually, I can do this — I kind of want to try floating

8. Unrealistic Goal: Have a heart-pumping adventure like skydiving or walking on glass
Realistic Goal: Get a tattoo

image source: thinkstock
image source: thinkstock

9. Unrealistic Goal: Hold a tarantula (NOPE)
Realistic Goal: Go to the zoo

10. Unrealistic Goal: Get married (ha ha ha ha)
Realistic Goal: Go on a date

11. Unrealistic Goal: Join the Peace Corps
Realistic Goal: Volunteer locally

12. Unrealistic Goal: Make something creative with my hands
Realistic Goal: I can do this! I have wanted to re-learn how to knit or cross-stitch

13. Unrealistic Goal: REPLACE COFFEE WITH GREEN TEA
Realistic Goal: Wow — I doubt I can replace, but I could certainly drink tea in the afternoon

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14. Unrealistic Goal: Run a marathon — ha
Realistic Goal: Get myself a bike and gear (oh, and ride it)

15. Unrealistic Goal: Go to a performance at the Met
Realistic Goal: It’s been a while since I have seen live music. I should see a band!

16. Unrealistic Goal: See a show on Broadway
Realistic Goal: It would be awesome to swing a trip to NYC for a show, but we ARE going to see The Lion King on tour when it comes to Philadelphia (YAY!)

image source: getty images
image source: getty images

17. Unrealistic Goal: Get a Ph.D..
Realistic Goal: Easy now! I AM going back to school. Baby steps!

18. Unrealistic Goal: Invest in gold or the stock market
Realistic Goal: I’d rather invest in my kid right now; I need to properly set up his savings

19. Unrealistic Goal: Go on a romantic picnic or road-trip
Realistic Goal: I’d love to go on a solo drive — windows down, music playing

20. Unrealistic Goal: Drink an expensive bottle of alcohol
Realistic Goal: Drink a glass of really nice wine

21. Unrealistic Goal: Become a CEO
Realistic Goal: Sure! Bring it!

22. Unrealistic Goal: Eat rare food
Realistic Goal: Make more exotic food

image source: thinkstock
image source: thinkstock

23. Unrealistic Goal: Be part of a flashmob or group event
Realistic Goal: Eagerly sing Happy Birthday whenever I hear it begin

24. Unrealistic Goal: Go geocaching
Realistic Goal: Ooooh! I want to do this

25. Unrealistic Goal: Have a nude portrait taken
Realistic Goal: Have a non-selfie, professional portrait taken

26. Unrealistic Goal: Create a font
Realistic Goal: I would love to do this

27. Unrealistic Goal: Read 100 books
Realistic Goal: I am aiming for 50 books

28. Unrealistic Goal: Spend all day at a spa
Realistic Goal: Get a massage

image source: thinkstock
image source: thinkstock

29. Unrealistic Goal: Have a professional makeup lesson
Realistic Goal: Learn how to master smokey eyes from YouTube tutorials

30. Unrealistic Goal: Go to Vegas and play the slots
Realistic Goal: Buy a scratcher lottery ticket at the grocery store

31. Unrealistic Goal: Buy luxury bedding
Realistic Goal: Buy a new duvet cover

32. Unrealistic Goal: Hire a housekeeper
Realistic Goal: Have a service come the week of my birthday to clean the house

33. Unrealistic Goal: Bake and eat only your own bread
Realistic Goal: Learn how to make bread

image source: thinkstock
image source: thinkstock

34. Unrealistic Goal: Cook every dish from your favorite cookbook
Realistic Goal: Cook my grandmother’s recipes

35. Unrealistic Goal: Hunt for truffles
Realistic Goal: Buy some truffle oil and figure out what to do with it

36. Unrealistic Goal: Apply to be on a reality TV show
Realistic Goal: Wait … I did this!

37. Unrealistic Goal: Go to a drive-in movie
Realistic Goal: Set up a backyard movie theater

38. Unrealistic Goal: Attend a major gallery opening
Realistic Goal: Go to an art museum

image source: thinkstock
image source: thinkstock

39. Unrealistic Goal: Name a star
Realistic Goal: Stargaze or go to a planetarium

40. Unrealistic Goal: Take part in an archaeological dig
Realistic Goal: Introduce my son to Indiana Jones movies

Turning 40 isn’t a fantasy, and that is what so many of these bucket lists feel like. I’m not upset about it or mourning for a different sort of life or a road less-traveled.

I’m now realizing the thing I want most when I turn 40 is to shut up about turning 40.

That should be the only thing on my bucket list for the day: turn 40 and stop making it such a big deal. All of the noise and the overtures, the preparation and trepidation, it has done nothing for me. If turning 40 isn’t such a big deal to me, why have I made the countdown so grand? Ooooooh, deep thought!

I don’t want to wake up 40 and feel like I didn’t embrace every moment. It’s easy to be passive in life and sometimes (for me) it feels helpful to make a list of fun and doable action items. Of course I can’t go to all of the continents of the world before the end of the year, but the Atlantic Ocean is just a quick drive away. I CAN make that a priority and savor the moment.

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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