A Typical Sick Day: Before Kids vs. After Kids

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

There is nothing worse than getting sick when you’re a mom. Moms can’t get sick; there’s no calling out of parenthood. Gone are the days of savory chicken soup from the gourmet deli, cool compresses, and cucumber slices to ward off all that sinus puffiness. Nonstop TV and lounging? Ha! Try nonstop whining from the kids who neeeeeeed you. Here, the before and after sick routine we can pretty much all agree on. 

It’s happened, you wake up and feel like crap …

Before kids: Call out sick from work and pull blankets up to your chin.

After kids: Up at 5:45 AM because the kids want Mickey Mouse pancakes. 

Your medicine of choice …

Before kids: Head to the doctor in hopes of a Z-pak.

After kids: Swig children’s Tylenol and pray.

Your lunch …

Before kids: Mom drops by with homemade chicken soup. Yum!

After kids: You open up a can of condensed chicken soup. Your toddler wants it. With a side of grilled cheese. And grapes. Green, not red grapes. 

Current mood …

Before kids: Sad, depressed, chilly, exhausted, and bed-ridden feeling so, so, so sorry for yourself. 

After kids: Two Tylenol later and you’re superwoman ready to run the world. 

Afternoon fun …

Before kids: All day napping. 

After kids: You beg your toddler to effin’ nap! 

You try another solution …

Before kids: A little Vicks on your chest goes a long way

After kids: Your freaking kid is fingerprinting with Vicks.

Your spouse …

Before kids: Your significant other was so attentive and sweet, sending you get well flowers.

After kids: Your spouse needs help changing a diaper, doing a science project, and can’t find the can opener.

How you try to relax …

Before kids: A nice steamy shower to clear your sinuses and help with aches and pains.

After kids: Like you’re ever alone in the bathroom. 

Getting ready for bed …

Before kids: You take a little extra NyQuil because you NEED sleep.

After kids: Yeah right! You need to be alert and ready for when the baby wakes up and the 3-year-old wets the bed.

Waking up the next morning …

Before kids: You feel 100% better and are ready to take on the day.

After kids: You wake up at 4 AM to your 7-year-old crying about a fever. Here we go again …

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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