My kids have recently started taking yoga classes. (What can I say, I live in Portland.) They enjoy it, and like to tell me about all the new poses they’ve learned. Camel! Cat! Cow! Cobra! Dog! Basically if there’s an animal, it has a pose named after it. And that’s great! The poses do look like the animals they’re named after, and it helps my kids remember the poses later on.
But it got me thinking: maybe the reason it’s so hard for parents (okay, for me) to get motivated to practice yoga is because the pose names just don’t resonate with us — not to mention it can be nearly impossible to find the time to fit yoga into your daily schedule. Well, no more. Here are 10 classic yoga poses that you can squeeze in without breaking your daily routine, as renamed to better capture the life of a mom.
1. Chair Pose (aka You Have to Pee and Your Son Just Used the Toilet Pose)
Get in a great glute workout while simultaneously not contaminating yourself with human waste. It wouldn’t seem possible that there is more pee on the seat than in the toilet, but there it is. Bonus points if you execute this move while holding your baby, who — bathroom emergency or no — won’t let you put her down.
2. Downward Facing Dog (aka Come Out From Under There Right Now Pose)
You can really squeeze this pose in any time. When you tell your 2-year-old it’s time to go. When you tell your 4-year-old it’s time to go. Well, I guess just those two situations but they seem to happen a lot.
3. Superman Pose (aka Trying to Get the Lego from Under the Couch Pose)
A nice back strengthener, and a surefire way to stave off temper tantrums. This pose can also be adapted for retrieving books. Or stuffed animals. Or the broken eraser that your daughter has decided she cannot live without that is now safely nestled in that unreachable triangle of under-couch space.
4. Spine Twist (aka Giving the Kids Snacks in the Car Pose)
The most difficult of all poses, and the most important. The happiness of all in the car depends on your ability to effectively deliver this pose and those crackers.
Relieve lower back tension while increasing psychological tension!
6. Warrior 3 Pose (aka Let Go of My Pants So I Can Make You Dinner Pose)
For whatever reason, you will have the most opportunity to perfect this pose when you are cooking something very, very hot on the stove. Usually something that spits oil.
7. Corpse Pose (aka Just Put the Kids to Bed Pose)
Unfortunately it’s only 7 PM, so you will have to end this pose at some point.
8. Child’s Pose (aka Why Didn’t I Do the Dishes Before My Kids Went to Bed Pose)
This is what despair looks like, my friends. But hey, at least you are releasing back and neck tension while avoiding the pile of crusted dishes in the sink!
9. Halfway Lift (aka Did That Noise Come from My Kid’s Room Pose)
Was it a cough or is someone throwing up? And is it worth it to open the squeaky door to check? Best put eye to keyhole and try to make sense of it all. Be sure to distribute your weight evenly to avoid triggering that squeaky board.
10. Warrior 1 (aka Wine Time Pose!)
Time to celebrate the end of your long workout and long work day! So go ahead and reach up to the stash of peanut butter cups that happened to, er, go missing from your children’s Easter egg hunt, or grab your favorite bottle of wine from the top shelf. You deserve it!
Now who’s ready to work out?
Want more yoga in your life? Watch this quick 10-minute yoga routine that can easily fit into your busy mom schedule: