Oh, Oreo. Why Do You Have to Make This So Difficult?

Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better. - Robert RedfordYou thought we would not figure you out, Oreo. You thought you were so sly, didn’t you? Didn’t you?

That is precisely why I ended our relationship almost two years ago. As much as I wished we could still see each other, it is just too difficult. When we are together I simply cannot get enough of you, and our unhealthy relationship just was not working out for me any longer. Even though my son still adores you, thanks to a professor and some students at the University of Connecticut, the whole world now knows about you and your sneaky ways.

On occasion I have longed for another taste of you, but so far have been able to resist your alluring ways.

It does not help matters that I see you everywhere. Do not for one minute think I am duped by your attempts to get me back by dressing yourself up in different flavors for the holidays either. You may still have me drooling over you, but I am standing my ground. We broke up, remember?

Oh, Oreo. For a while I thought it was just me who was addicted to you, but now we all know the truth about your power of manipulation. The word is out about you, and even though you have been publicly exposed, it is still difficult to stay away.

Even the rats cannot get enough of you. Even they became addicted to you and your deliciousness.

As I have said before, you can still see my son from time to time. It wouldn’t be fair of me to deprive him of seeing you now and then. I would not want him to resent me for cutting him off from you.  Nor would I want him to rebel against my keeping him from you later in life. You know what he loves, and he simply cannot find another who can dunk like you. Yet you should know that I encourage him to make smart choices and to form healthy relationships with other cookies.

Oh, Oreo. Why do you have to make this so difficult?

This post is an intentially lighthearted response to research that came out this week from the University of Connecticut which found that in lab rats, Oreos are just as addictive as drugs.  Their research supports the theory that high-fat and high-sugar foods may stimulate the brain in the same way that drugs do. (Please note that addictions of any kind are very serious business and should be treated as such.) It will be interesting to see if researchers can find this connection for other high-fat, high-sugar foods in future studies. Though I am grateful to never have experienced a true clinical addiction, I may have had some difficulty abstaining from Oreos in the past.


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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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