And bend and squat and lift and bend … now sprints!
Nearly 53 million Americans belong to a health club, with membership ramping up in January when the masses clog the cardio section in homage to their New Year’s resolutions.
But for parents of toddlers, your best workout may be staring right at you, asking for Goldfish crackers and pizza for breakfast. It makes sense. Your precious offspring are hard-wired to thunder through the house at warp speed, making them more effective than any ripped personal trainer.
So slam a Red Bull and get going. I submit: The Toddler Workout.
1. Fishing teeny tiny little socks out of the back of the dryer.
Because somehow the easy-to-grab items like towels and yoga pants always get dried up front and the smallest possible items get dried at the very, very back. Always.
Targets: butt, quads, and core
2. Bathing the toddler.
And trying to get him sufficiently clean while you stay sufficiently dry as he does water aerobics to a mashup of “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.”
Targets: back, core, arms, and knees
3. Fulfilling repeated requests of “up” then “down” …
… then “up” then “down” from a 25- to 35-pound toddler.
Targets: arms and core
Bonus round: When said toddler decides to fling himself backwards for fun and you do the squat and catch, which also targets butt and legs.
4. Tiptoeing through mud to retrieve every single ball you own …
… after the toddler throws them into the giant mud puddle created by two weeks of rain.
5. Wind sprints when you hear silence.
Nothing but the terrifying roar of silence. Then a crash.
6. Picking up Hot Wheels, LEGOs …
… random wheels to cars you aren’t even sure you own, magic wands, plastic animals (why, oh why, do you always step on the rhinoceros?), raisins, books, shredded magazine pages, sippy cups, beads, crayons, and the like.
Targets: abs, obliques, and butt
7. Wrangling a flailing, screaming toddler into his timeout location.
Because he went all Mike Tyson on you and started throwing punches for trying to get his shoes on.
Targets: FULL BODY WORKOUTMore On