Most people assume that when you have a baby, exercise goes right out the window. Not so, parentals! Once you have a baby at home, fitness takes on a whole new level of challenge … and timing … and creativity. Because let’s be honest: caring for a baby all day is already a tough workout, more challenging than Tae Bo.
In fact, you’ve probably performed these nine exercises already — now you just have a name for them.
Note: To perform these exercises, you will need one baby.
1. High Chair Lunges
Stand before baby while he’s eating something really messy, like minced spaghetti with chunky tomato sauce, in his high chair. Extend right leg behind you; hold. When baby flings food, bend both knees deeply and lunge for it. Lunge deeper! Think of the mess that tomato sauce is going to leave on your recently mopped floors!
Repeat 152 times, or until baby has completed his meal.
2. The Hair Pull Chaturanga
Lie baby on the floor, face up. Come to a plank position, elbows straight, with your face directly over baby’s belly. Keeping elbows as close to your sides as possible, bend elbows deeply to lower yourself into a push up while wildly rubbing your face against baby’s tummy, eliciting squeals of delight. Now brace yourself as you try to straighten your elbows as baby grabs giant fistfuls of your hair.
Hold this chaturanga until you can figure out a way to safely exit the exercise without harming baby or losing large sections of your hair. (You’ll be here awhile.)
3. Baby Bounce Calf Raises
Come to sit on the edge of a chair, legs squeezed together. Prop baby on your knees, facing you. While holding baby’s arms with your hands, begin to lift and lower your heels from the floor, increasing in speed until baby bounces, laughs and gurgles on your lap.
4. The Costco Crunch
With baby in one arm, attempt to lug the 20 pound jar of Manchego-stuffed olives you just purchased at Costco (What? Why did you do that?) with your free arm from the trunk of your station wagon to the front door.
Do this repeatedly until all $2,500 worth of bulk food items have been removed from your car, or your arm cramps from exhaustion. (By all means, take a moment to admire your chiseled bicep in the reflection of a window, and think to yourself, “who needs gym membership when I’ve got a Costco card”)
5. Reverse Baby Curl
Lying face up on the floor, bring legs into table top position and prop baby on shins; bring knees — and baby — toward your chest. Bonus points if you can steal a kiss between each move.
6. The Endless Stair Sprint
The amount of time spent running up and down the stairs looking for small child items that have been left on another floor.
7. The Monday Morning Coffee Cup Curl
Raise seventh cup of coffee to mouth, take a sip while obnoxiously flexing your bicep to no one in particular except the small child sitting across from you. Return mug to the table. Repeat until you’re somewhat coherent.
8. The Toy Squat with Tot
Stand with legs hip-width apart in the horrendous toy cyclone that used to be your tastefully decorated living room. Keep your spine straight while cradling baby in your free arm and exhale while bending knees deeply. Reach out with your free arm and pick up your four-year-old’s Bratz Doll, the one you’ve been threatening to melt in the microwave if she keeps leaving it on the floor. Keep weight in your heels as you engage your quadriceps to return to a standing position. Stand over next Bratz Doll and repeat.
9. The Baby Bench Press
Lie face up on the floor, gripping baby’s body with both hands. Bend elbows to bring baby close to your chest, then straighten elbows again. Repeat 20 times, or until baby throws up just a little bit in your mouth (full disclosure: this actually happened to my husband when he tried this move with our firstborn).
What’s your favorite mom workout move? How many can you check off this list?More On