The Mini Film Critic: A First-grader Judges Oscar-nominated Movies by Their Poster


There are nine movies up for the Academy Award for Best Picture this year, and not a single one is age-appropriate for my little 7-year-old girl. Silver Linings Playbook? No. Zero Dark Thirty? Nope. Django Unchained? No, no, no! But there isn’t any harm in allowing her to look at the posters for these critically acclaimed films, and this year most of the posters and film titles are particularly cryptic.

I had my opinionated first-grader examine all nine posters for the Best Picture category and give her take on what she thought they were about (and yes, one of them starred fairies).

Check out what she thought right here (and I asked her what film she thought would win Best Picture, so check out her guess as well!):


  • Amour 1 of 9
    "It's a movie about an old lady, and it's a sad movie. She looks like maybe she gets sick or something, and it looks really boring. The name of the movieAmour is someone's name. But it's not her name, it's someone she knows. Maybe the person who helps her when she is sick."
    Find out what Amour is really about here.
  • Life of Pi 2 of 9
    Life of Pi
    "It's about a guy not a pie, because pie has an 'e' in it. And the movie is about a guy on a boat, and he has nowhere to go. He's on the boat with a tiger who is really, really mean. It's an adventure movie. I wouldn't want to see it because it looks too scary. I wouldn't want to be stuck on a boat with that tiger!"
    Find out what Life of Pi is really about here.
  • Argo 3 of 9
    "I have no idea what this one is about, but I think something happened like an earthquake or something, because those people are running and look scared. And the big picture of the guy, he looks scared too, scared of the earthquake. Argo is the name of the guy in the picture. Or it has something to do with a ship, like there is an earthquake and they all have to go on a ship named Argo. It looks like a bad movie and I can't see it because it's PG-13."
    Find out what Argo is really about here.
  • Lincoln 4 of 9
    "This one is easy. It's about Lincoln and how he became the President. But the movie looks creepy and weird and he has a humongous chin. I wonder if it would still look that way if he shaved his beard off. I don't really want to see if because it looks more like a grown-up movie and would probably be too scary for me."

    When I asked her which film she thought would win the Best Picture award, she quickly answered, Lincoln!

    Find out what Lincoln is really about here.
  • Beasts of the Southern Wild 5 of 9
    Beasts of the Southern Wild
    "This one is about a person who really loves fireworks, and it's about scary monsters. It looks like a really pretty movie. It stars a little kid, and the kid becomes friends with the monsters."
    Find out what Beasts of the Southern Wild is really about here.
  • Silver Linings Playbook 6 of 9
    Silver Linings Playbook
    "This is a movie about building things and it's a happy, good movie. The two people are inventors that invent things that have to do with fish because of all those little scribbles that look like fish. They work together. He's also really, really tall and she likes to wear her hair really, really high. It's kind of a funny movie, too, you can tell by the look in their eyes."
    Find out what Silver Linings Playbook is really about here.
  • Zero Dark Thirty 7 of 9
    Zero Dark Thirty
    "I have no idea! Is it about ghosts? Oh, I know, it's about civil rights or something (note: she recently learned about Martin Luther King in school), because of the big American flag and the other photos. But really I have no idea — the poster doesn't tell me anything. But it looks like something bad is happening."
    Find out what Zero Dark Thirty is really about here.
  • Django Unchained 8 of 9
    Django Unchained
    "It's a wild west movie! But I don't know why there is a 'D' in the name. It should be just Jango, just with a 'J' not a 'D'. That's weird. The guy in the middle is a good guy and the other guys are bad guys. The guy on the left always plays bad guys. In the movie they dance a lot and then they kill bad people and the bad people kill the good people because they are mean. Really mean."
    Find out what Django Unchained is really about here.
  • Les Misérables 9 of 9
    Les Misérables
    "It's a French movie, and it's about a little girl who finds fairies, and it's a musical because it says right there on the poster that it's a musical. Les Misérables is the name of the land. It's kind of like Peter Pan because it says 'fight, dream, hope, love,' kind of like Peter Pan. But I wouldn't want to see it because it's all in French."
    Find out what Les Misérables is really about here.


Article Posted 3 years Ago
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