The part of my wedding I was most excited for was the honeymoon, which makes perfect since because I was scared out of my mind about getting married in the first place. Nothing overpowered that sense of fear I felt for the many months leading up to the big day, but the thought of heading out on a honeymoon where I could have a break from those stresses while on my very first vacation as a grownup got me pretty excited. And not much else about the getting married process was exciting. Planning the wedding? Nope. Watching Casey pick out things for our registry? Nope. Finding clothes for the wedding? Nope. Pictures? Nope. So, the honeymoon landed its spot near the top of my pre-marriage excitement list almost by default.
For our honeymoon, Casey and I decided to head to Vail, Colorado. For those who are unfamiliar with Vail, it’s a lot like Aspen, Colorado. Meaning, it’s primarily a ski town for the rich, the famous, and the even more rich. We found out pretty quickly that Vail was not a town for a pretty poor newly wed couple and the memories we collected on that honeymoon have been almost completely negative. The honeymoon consisted of us locked in several arguments all while we couldn’t afford to do anything in Vail.
After returning from our adventure to Vail, we both decided it was a mistake, and if we had it to do all over again we would go on our honeymoon a year after our wedding. Of course, these reasons are our reasons and they aren’t going to fit for everyone. We were two people who only knew each other for about 6 months before hand and we did not live together before our marriage. We were also very young, Casey having turned 19 years old weeks before the big day and me having turned 22 a few months before the big day. Some of the reasons we don’t think newly weds should go on a honeymoon aren’t going to fit couples who are more familiar with each other and who are already financially sound. With that in mind, here are 10 reasons not to go on a honeymoon:
10 Reasons Not to Go on a Honeymoon 1 of 11
Click through to see my reasons... learn from my experience!
On the Road 2 of 11
Being out on the road together for the first time as a married couple or for the first time ever (which it was for us) can add stress that a new marriage doesn't need. Plus, we didn't live together before we got married, so the first time Casey learned that I squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube was on the first night of our honeymoon and brought about our first fight as a married couple (way to set the tone, honeymoon). Even though toothpaste squeezing doesn't illicit thoughts of fights to most, many newly weds aren't going to know enough about each other to know what is going to set off that first fight that sets a bad tone for the honeymoon.
Break Time 3 of 11
After walking down the aisle together, the last thing we needed was a break from the daily stresses of our marriage — the honeymoon just added stress to our young marriage. And a year into our marriage we needed a break in the worst way, but by then we couldn't afford a vacation a year into our marriage so our badly needed break from marriage didn't happen.
Savings 4 of 11
All the money we had saved up, which wasn't much, went to our honeymoon. But, if we had held onto that savings and continued to save throughout the year we could have afforded a better trip a year into our marriage, and then we would have had that much needed break a year after we said our vows.
No Time 5 of 11
Look, the honeymoon is a time to, uh, get more familiar with each other and not in a chatty talky kind of way. There's not a lot of time to go out on grand adventures or to amusement parks, etc. while on the honeymoon. There are other things, or an other thing, that takes up most of the time while on a honeymoon, so what's the point of paying all that money to go somewhere to do that one thing?
Stresses of Travel 6 of 11
One thing I've learned over the past decade while traveling with Casey is that traveling is stressful. There's all the planning, the expense, the timing, the work conflicts, and on and on and on. What does a honeymoon do? Well, we went through all those stresses of planning for a, you know, wedding, plus all the stresses of, you know, getting married to someone forever, AND we heaped all those stress of travel on top of the wedding stresses. I'll pass.
Time to Clean Up 7 of 11
Weddings are messy. There's all the wedding stuff and decorations that have to be cleaned up and then there's the messy car, the gifts, any mess left over from the move, and on and on. That's a lot of work that has to be done either before you leave on your honeymoon or when you get back from your honeymoon — neither of which is desirable.
Family and Friends 8 of 11
I traveled 2,000 miles to my best friend's wedding a month ago. I had only seen my friend once over the past 6 years, so I arrived the day before the wedding and left the day after. Why not more time? Well, he had to get ready for a wedding before the wedding, then he had to get married, then he had to leave on his honeymoon. It felt odd to both of us that I would travel that far to really not see much of him at all. I felt the same way when he traveled to my wedding. Drop the honeymoon and spend some time with the family and friends that traveled to watch the wedding.
Expensive 9 of 11
Weddings are expensive, and if you're like we were when we got married, there's not a lot of money to throw around on a honeymoon. We were lucky that we had family help with our wedding so we could put our savings towards our honeymoon, but in the end we didn't have enough to pay for all of our honeymoon so we started our marital debts problems off right and early. We could have headed off a lot of problems with debt that popped up a year or two into our marriage if we had hadn't given into the debt trap before we had even said "I do."
Weird Bed 10 of 11
Honeymoons are for intimacy. It was awkward enough for me to learn how to, uh, purposely take the ol' pants off in front of someone else, but It was even more difficult to be intimate as I dealt with my constant worry about who used the sheets before I got in them. This reason is likely pretty unique to me and people like me who struggle sleeping in hotels because all hotels come with a bit of an ick factor and it made that intimate part of marriage on the honeymoon extra awkward. It would have been much more enjoyable had it been happening in our bed that we were both comfortable with.
Anxious for Life 11 of 11
We got married and like the newly weds we were, we were anxious to get our married life together going. We wanted to experience living life as a married couple and that week long honeymoon in Vail put a halt to that plan.
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