12 Gifts NOT to Give on the 12 Days of Christmas

Source: Microsoft clip art

This is NOT going to be one of those lists that you probably see everywhere on what you SHOULD get for your loved ones for the holidays. This is a gift guide on 12 gifts NOT to give for the Holidays! Having written my fair share of the “normal” types of gift lists, I thought is was time to turn the tables a bit. Hopefully you won’t be on the receiving side of any of the items that I have listed below, but remember, you can always throw an impromptu “White Elephant” party.

While the items below are not really in any particular order, perhaps the tamer ones are first…and apologies to any of the makers of these “fine gifts.” They might be just great, but for me, I just don’t get them. But heck, they wouldn’t have been made if someone didn’t want them, right? (That’s a bit scary).

Take a look at these crazy products…I really hope that you don’t own any of them (but I must admit, when I was a kid, I did buy my dad the first one on the list). And you aren’t going to believe the last one. It was actually a product a few years ago!

  • #1 – Soap on a Rope 1 of 12
    #1 - Soap on a Rope
    I was going to put "deodorant" there as a no-no gift. You are basically saying "you stink" to the recipient.
    Photo Credit: Old Spice
  • #2 – An IOU 2 of 12
    #2 - An IOU
    You are basically saying that you totally forgot and didn't think about that person until the last minute. Nice job!
    Photo Credit: HighTechDad
  • #3 – Self-Help Book 3 of 12
    #3 - Self-Help Book
    Uh...could you be a bit more obvious here? You are telling the receiver that they need help. Might as well pay for a shrink while you're at it.
    Photo Credit: HighTechDad
  • #4 – Ab Machine 4 of 12
    #4 - Ab Machine
    The only 6-pack you will have is that one sitting in your fridge. If you think that one of these will give your loved one a ripped abdomen, you are sorely mistaken.
    Photo Credit: WeightLiftingEquipment
  • #5 – Fruit Cake 5 of 12
    #5 - Fruit Cake
    Yeah, people still give these to people, and I'm not sure why. After a few months, they are good for hammers, self-defense or paper weights.
    Photo Credit: SF Weekly
  • #6 – Anything Barney Related 6 of 12
    #6 - Anything Barney Related
    Please promise me you won't give anything that has that stupid purple dinosaur on it. The only "good thing" that came out of Barney was Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez.
    Photo Credit: Barney
  • #7 – An America Online Gift Subscription 7 of 12
    #7 - An America Online Gift Subscription
    If you have an email, you are a dying breed. Give someone a subscription to AOL and they may hate you for life. A better gift would be a bunch of the AOL CDs as a hanging mobile.
    Photo Credit: Gizmodo
  • #8 – A Foot Tanner 8 of 12
    #8 - A Foot Tanner
    Yes, this is a real product! Why not just get out into the sun or do a full body tan?
    Photo Credit: Exotic Tans
  • #9 – Spray on Hair 9 of 12
    #9 - Spray on Hair
    Does this stuff really exist? Is it just string cheese with black food coloring?
    Photo Credit:
  • #10 – HanderPants 10 of 12
    #10 - HanderPants
    Wow, I sure hope someone gifts me a pair of these. One word here...REALLY!?
    Photo Credit: Gizmodo
  • #11 – Privacy Scarf 11 of 12
    #11 - Privacy Scarf
    This might actually be a good gift if you knit it yourself. But don't expect your loved ones to be seen in public actually using one of these. At least I hope they wouldn't.
    Photo Credit: Yatter Matters
  • #12 – Tinkles the Toilet Cat 12 of 12
    #12 - Tinkles the Toilet Cat
    So, this wet cat pops up at you when you open the lid. THAT'S about as fun as juggling razorblades!
    Photo Credit: Nerd Approved

Got any to add to the list? Leave a comment!

Read more of Michael’s writing at
And don’t miss a post! Follow Michael on Twitter (@HighTechDad)!


Article Posted 5 years Ago

Videos You May Like