In this day and age of Pinterest and super-parents who stop at nothing to create magnificent, over-the-top costumes for their kids, it’s hard for me not to feel a little slighted when I think back on the crappy feeling I always ended up having Halloween night out on the street, in the middle of collecting my candy haul, when my Casper the Friendly Ghost mask popped a staple and dangled the rubber band that kept the damn thing on my head.
Pinteresty Parents of 2013 would have a whole box truck of new costumes and crap following close behind their precious trick-or-treaters nowadays.
Back then, my mom just told me to forget about the mask, to stuff it in my plastic candy bag and knock on the next door already.
Things have changed, I guess. Well, some things.
Still, I loved Halloween; I really did, and that’s all that counts. We didn’t know any better back then. There were no super costumes. There was no air of parental superiority when it came to our get-ups. Hell, we would have like 14 Scooby-Doos in a class of 22 kids.
Fancy or not though, there is still a lot to be said for the magic level of creativity we tend to see more at Halloween than any other time of the year. Parents and kids both seem to shine a flashlight into the deep, dark corners of their imaginations and come up with costumes that blow my mind, time and again.
Sometimes they are elaborate works of laborious art. Other times, they’re just thrown together ramshackle masterpieces.
Either way, they help to make Halloween a fabulous time to be alive. Especially if you’re a kid.
Halloween is here… 1 of 16
Praying Mantis 2 of 16
I like to think that this little girl insisted on being a praying mantis for Halloween. I mean, that's just not the sort of costume idea that you take lightly, now is it?
Sweet Little Zipperface 3 of 16
I'm sorry, but when little kids have costumes that make them look this scary, it freaks me out bad.
The Small Man in Black 4 of 16
A mini-Johnny Cash? Wow. This awesome kid gets ten extra Reese's Cups at my house on Halloween night.
Harry P. 5 of 16
What can I possibly say about this Harry Potter and his three-headed dog? It is epic. And it does the saga proud.
The Eyeball 6 of 16
At first glance, this eyeball seems creative and all, but nothing TOO out of the ordinary, right? Okay, head to the next slide...
I age: www.wtfcostumes.com
SurprEYES! 7 of 16
After you give this kid his candy and he turns around to head off your porch, that's when you notice that this eyeball still has gross, weird veins attached to it! Ha! I love it! (But I'm a little 'off'.)
Jar Head 8 of 16
This is so disturbing and yet so wildly creative. Which, in a lot of ways, is what Halloween is all about.
Old School 9 of 16
This is brilliant. Simple and timeless. But I'm guessing that you'd need to maybe open up the old wallet a bit to get the vintage E.T. doll you'd need to make it happen. Unless, of course, you have one up in the attic.
Throne Kid 10 of 16
The thing about being a toilet for Halloween is that you will probably be the only one on your block. Oddly cool, I think.
WILSON! 11 of 16
Baby's first Halloween and you dressed him up as 'Wilson', the volleyball from the Tom Hanks' film, Castaway? That does it then, I am voting for you for Coolest Parent on Earth 2013.
Freaky Centaur 12 of 16
Okay, this is just very, very weird and it makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable and uneasy. But it is a seriously fabulous costume, too.
The Scariest of Them All 13 of 16
I feel bad. See, if The Shining twins were at my door, no matter how incredibly awesome their costumes were, I know I wouldn't be able to answer and give them any Halloween candy because I would be bolting across my backyard in the dark, trying to escape.
Roasted 14 of 16
Here's how I would handles this superb costume: I would ring your bell and then lay my roasted turkey child down on your porch where you can see him/her when you open the door while I hide behind a shrub! And it would never get old for me, ever.
The Sandwich 15 of 16
How great is this? How fantastic is this kid all tucked up in the sandwich so that he really can't even move? You have to carry him around, just like a real sandwich! I don't know exactly why but this costume makes me happy.
Shadow Kids 16 of 16
Just when you get to thinking that you've seen it all, that you've experienced with your own two eyes the very best that Halloween costumes have to offer, along comes something so elegant and simple, yet so super cool and freaky that your mind is blown. At least, that's how it has been for me ever since I first saw these Shadow Kid costumes. Happy Halloween! Thanks for looking!