If You Want To Date My Daughter, You Must Follow These Rules (Part 1)

Image Source: Microsoft Clip Art

A few years ago, I came across a funny article, or perhaps it was an email, I can’t quite remember. But it was the subject matter that got my interest. It laid down rules from the perspective of a father to the prospective boyfriend of a daughter. I’ve tried to modernize the rules a bit and make them more appropriate.

I am very tempted to actually have this set of rules available when my daughters hit the dating age. Unless, of course, I lock them all away in a tower. That evil witch who put Rapunzel high away from the world and prevented her from coming down was actually pretty smart. But until I build a 5-story high stone tower, I need to have a set of rules that all young men wanting to date my daughter must follow.

Please find 5 of theĀ 10 Daddy Rules For Dating. So daters take note! The rules have changed!

  • No Honking 1 of 5
    No Honking
    You WILL get our of your car, walk to the front door, ring the doorbell and wait patiently for my princess to be ready. If you honk, you won't be picking anything up.
    Image source: Microsoft Clip Art
  • No Touching 2 of 5
    No Touching
    You WILL admire my daughter from afar, and only from the neck up. You may not touch her in front of me. If you forget this simple rule, I will remove the body part that touches her, and if your eyes linger below the neckline, I will remove them as well.
    Image source: Microsoft Clip Art
  • No ‘Pants on the Ground’ 3 of 5
    No 'Pants on the Ground'
    General Larry Platt put this so articulately on American Idol. "Pants on the Ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground". You are totally welcome to come to our house with your baggy pants hanging down and underwear showing, but understand that I will go and get my nail gun and re-fasten them to your waist.
    Image source: Microsoft Clip Art
  • Barrier Method 4 of 5
    Barrier Method
    Recent news has said that sex without the "barrier method" can potentially kill you. To clarify this regarding my daughter and sex - I'm the barrier and I WILL kill you.
    Image source: Microsoft Clip Art
  • No Small Talk 5 of 5
    No Small Talk
    While people say that it is important for there to be conversation between me and the person dating my daughter, I only require one thing to be talked about and that is when you will have my daughter back after the date. Please understand, there is only one acceptable answer - "Early!".
    Image source: Microsoft Clip Art

Tomorrow, I will complete the list to make it 10. These are really important rules, not only for Fathers to have available for any prospects who came by, but also for any young man who is in the dating age.

Do you have any rules that you are or will impose for those “boys” who date your daughters? Leave a comment!

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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