Kids Vs. Spouse: Who Do You Love More?

Thanks in part to the Wall Street Journal we now have something new for parents to argue about. In other news I’m renting soapboxes!

The latest hot topic can be found in a WSJ Market Watch piece on a DDB Worldwide Communications Group Life Style Study which, among over things, reveals that “75% of mothers admit they love their children more than their spouses.” (Spouse is their language, but any significant other will do.)

They claim that the results are “surprising” which is the only thing I find surprising at all.

It reminds me of a post I read a few years ago on a blog that I wish I could source, but can’t actually recall, in which the man writing stated that he, in the hypothetical event of a fire, would save his wife before his children. He made the case that she was the love of his life and may have used the term “soulmate” on more than one occasion. I commented to the contrary and was in the minority.

That is not to say that I don’t applaud true love — The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies. However, the idea of loving my spouse more than my children is one that I cannot comprehend.

For the record, my wife feels the same way.

This is not to suggest that I do not love my wife, and in the blogger’s example of a fire you can bet that the moment the kids are safe I’m going right back in for her. But pulling her to safety at the risk of the kids? Never.

I sleep well knowing my wife would do the same.

There are a million song lyrics and tons of late night poetry to suggest that the bonds of love are strongest between two people that have fallen deep in it, but in my own personal experience, it wasn’t until that moment when my first son was born that the glory of love really hit me. And it hit me hard.

I remember standing in the rain outside of the hospital. It was morning, but still dark, and I made the phone calls that one makes when they have a brand new baby and people waiting to know. I may have been crying. That was when things opened inside of me that I never knew were closed, and I understood what love really is.

Then I felt guilty knowing that my parents could feel something so strong for me and that I had repaid them with grade school tantrums and high school shenanigans. I apologized to them immediately.

I guess what it comes down to, and I mean this with the utmost respect to those that have found themselves in these terrible situations, is what the above fire scenario implies — that if something were to happen to my wife I know that I would survive. It would be sad, awful, and tragic, to be sure, but I would survive because my boys would need me to do so. She would fend the same.

If something were to happen to my children, the concept of such being too painful to even consider for anything longer than this paragraph, I do not think I would be able to take it.

I know people that have suffered such heartache in their lives, and I am awed by their strength and admire them greatly. Even so, I am not sure that such things live inside me.

Forgive me if I’m rambling, this is an opinion piece, and a highly personal one at that, so I think such things are warranted, but that probably doesn’t make them any easier to follow.

The bottom line is that I am Team Kid, and so is my wife. I love her all the more for it.

Who do you love more?


Whit HoneaRead more from Whit Honea at his site Honea Express and the popular group blog DadCentric. You can follow Whit on the Twitter or Pinterest (his opinions are his own and do not reflect those of Babble or most rational people).


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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