My Family Meeting the President? Now That Could be Embarrassing

I’m not famous. I don’t have a lot of money to donate to campaigns. No potential Super Bowl contender will sign me to a contract. I won’t be winning a major award anytime soon and I don’t ever plan on running for political office. Needless to say, the chances of my family ever meeting the President are less than slim.

That hasn’t kept me from wondering what it would be like if we did have such an opportunity. My family, like all families, has its quirks, and I am sure those quirks would be on full display when it came time to shake hands with the leader of our country.

Will Smith’s family recently met with President Obama. Jaden Smith was warned by his father that he was not to ask the President a certain question. In fact, Will Smith had warned his son that asking certain questions was “not cool” and was “embarrassing.” As has been the experience with my children, that warning went unheeded.

Jaden Smith interrupted the President with the intent of asking about the presence of aliens. The President humored Jaden and proceeded to “neither confirm nor deny” whether the government had discovered the presence of extraterrestrial life.

I’m sure I could write a list of 100 things that I would be worried about if my family was given the opportunity to meet President Obama, but these are probably the Top 10 Fears:

  • Addie and Her Indoor Gymnastics 1 of 10
    Addie and Her Indoor Gymnastics
    I probably tell Addie to stop doing flips, cartwheels, back handstands, and you name it on the couch at least 100 times each night. So far she has listened to me exactly three times. I would not at all be surprised if Addie got bored with the conversation and found a nearby piece of furniture in the Oval Office to practice whatever recent trick she learned in gymnastics class.
  • Vivi’s Occassional Scoot with Streaks 2 of 10
    Vivi's Occassional Scoot with Streaks
    Vivi's diapers don't always stay on properly. That happens on occasion to babies who refuse to crawl. Vivi scoots on her butt, which sometimes causes her diaper to get crooked or even rolled up a bit. When that happens, Vivi leaves little tracks behind on our wood floor as she scoots, which is embarrassing, not to mention gross. I can easily see something like that happening on the floor of the White House.
  • Vivi’s Favorite Place to Poop 3 of 10
    Vivi's Favorite Place to Poop
    Vivi has a potty schedule and there is no interrupting that schedule no matter what's happening that day. If we've had food within 30 minutes of meeting President Obama, there is a 90% chance Vivi will poop her pants right there in front of him.
  • Vivi Loves to Eye Gouge 4 of 10
    Vivi Loves to Eye Gouge
    Vivi loves to poke and pull at people's faces. It doesn't matter who it is, including the baby in this picture. The First Lady has a tendency to wear large hoop earrings, and I'm 100% positive that if Mrs. Obama held Vivi, those earrings would be ripped out in less than 5 seconds.
  • Addie at Barbie’s Desk 5 of 10
    Addie at Barbie's Desk
    Addie has never met a desk she didn't like. When she stays at my office after school, she has been known to try to kick clients out of the conference rooms and spare offices because she feels the need to use the particular desks in those rooms. It wouldn't surprise me if Addie saw the Oval Office desk and invited herself to take a seat.
  • Casey Has No Shame 6 of 10
    Casey Has No Shame
    My wife has a weird propensity to work the mention of nipple hair into any discussion. Some of the most awkward moments of my life have come from such conversations. I would not at all be surprised if my wife somehow dropped the term nipple hair on the President.
  • The Fanciness of Addie 7 of 10
    The Fanciness of Addie
    Addie loves all things fancy. She also loves to have tea parties. It doesn't matter if the dishes she decides to use are real dishes or toy dishes. She's going to pick the fanciest ones that she can find. Give her one look at the china in the Presidential Collection Room and thoughts of tea parties will be dancing in her head. It would only take one moment of boredom before she helped herself to that china.
  • Addie Loves Sleepovers 8 of 10
    Addie Loves Sleepovers
    I don't think Addie has visited a house where she didn't want to have a sleepover. Most of the time she tries inviting herself over for the night. I wouldn't be surprised if Addie tugged on President Obama's suit sleeve and begged him to let her have a sleepover at the presidential quarters.
  • My Nervousness Gets the Best of Me 9 of 10
    My Nervousness Gets the Best of Me
    You'd think a lawyer would be used to public speaking and nerve wracking situations. There seems to be a difference between the lawyer me and the social situations me. Put me in a trial and I feel fine, comfortable even. Put me in a group of people just to meet and talk? I'll just say it makes my skin crawl with nervousness. When that happens, I yank on my ear, over and over and over again. Meeting the President would definitely bring out my nervous quirks.
  • Vivi Explores Body Orifices 10 of 10
    Vivi Explores Body Orifices
    Did I mention that Vivi loves to poke, pull and prod at other people's faces? Vivi has also recently learned how to pick her own nose. She also loves to pick the nose of her closest neighbor. Vivi would definitely try to pick President Obama's nose if he decided to hold her. I'd imagine he would roll with it, since other kids have had similar tendencies and he has been able to laugh off those experiences. And he has kids of his own!

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