New Year’s Resolutions Are for Failures

I hate New Year’s resolutions. I’m not even sure why New Year’s is really a holiday. The only reason I ever get excited about New Year’s is because it’s a day filled with good college football. Otherwise it just means I’m a year older.

Casey is a firm believer in New Year’s resolutions, however. She’s put together a list of New Year’s resolutions every year since we’ve been married, and probably every year before that. She knows about my hate of New Year’s resolutions, so she usually doesn’t share those New Year’s resolutions with me and that’s probably a good thing. She’d probably get a bit annoyed with me if I pointed out how she broke each and every one.

To be fair to Casey, she did make a New Year’s resolution several years ago to always have good smelling laundry and she’s done a pretty good job at keeping that resolution. Outside that resolution, I’m not sure how many she’s actually kept.

I never understood the point of making New Year’s resolutions. If someone really wants to lose weight, how does passing into the New Year really help? If someone wants to travel more, why not just travel more? Why wait until the New Year? And on and on and on it goes.

To show Casey I could do new things, three years ago I did put together a list of New Year’s Resolutions. Here’s what they were:  (1) be more patient with Addie; (2) learn to find new ways to express how beautiful I think my wife is; (3) be more social when I’m in social gatherings; (4) do all the dishes all year; and, (5) weigh under 200 pounds by the next New Year.

Here’s how that list turned out three years later. I’m not sure if I am more patient with Addie. Sometimes I get stuck between treating her like she’s a 3-year-old and 16-year-old. As my mom said about Addie the other day, “Addie’s 8 years old going on 18 years old and that’s why she gets along with her 12-year-old cousins so well.”  It’s tough to find the right balance sometimes.

I can always do better at expressing how I feel about my wife, and I’ve been just as terrible interacting socially with people at social gatherings as I was three years ago. I’ve done all of the dishes for the past three years and it looks like I’ll be doing the dishes for the rest of my life.

I don’t weigh under 200 pounds and I may never weigh under 200 pounds again and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I could certainly stand to lose another 10 pounds, which would put me at 205, but in order to get under 200 pounds I would have to change the focus of my exercise routine from a weight based routine into a cardio based routine and I just don’t want to do that.

On my first and only attempt at putting together New Year’s resolutions, I failed at 4 out of the 5 resolutions. I’m pretty sure 96% of people who put together New Year’s resolutions end up with about a 10% success rate. Oh, and 68% of all statistics are made up.

I didn’t even succeed at the one resolution I really wanted to succeed at. If I was going to fail at one resolution, I at least wanted that one resolution to be the doing the dishes resolution. For this year I’m going to stick to my life habit of not doing New Year’s resolutions, and at this time next year I can tell everyone I succeeded at every New Year’s resolutions I set.

Photo Credit: Flickr

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