The Difficulties of Dating Your Spouse

married couple date nightI never realized how hard dating was until I got married. Planning a date with your wife when you have  kids can be more difficult than solving the Goldbach conjecture.

First, you must overcome the babysitting issue. In my case, I cannot rely on my family even though the live in town. My wife and I don’t want to ask my parents to watch the kids because they have to take care of my niece everyday. We don’t think it’s fair to ask them to watch three more children. Our siblings are out because they are always busy working or running around with their own kids.

Friends and neighbors won’t work because we don’t know our neighbors well enough to trust them with our children and our friends, whom we do trust, live too far away.

Sometimes local businesses and churches offer “Kid’s Night Out” to allow parents to spend time quiet time together. But these opportunities are sporadic and my kids don’t really like them because they have to spend 3-4 hours with a group of strangers.

After many months of searching, we finally found Kaitlyn. She is a responsible young woman who gets along great with the kids. The only problem with Kaitlyn is that she is a college student whose weekend plans often conflict with ours.

I won’t even get into the cost of babysitting. I feel the financial pinch with three kids and I know many couples who never go out because they simply cannot afford babysitting plus the costs of date night.

If couples can secure babysitting, the next challenge is deciding what to do. My wife and I are polar opposites. She enjoys simplicity. Dinner and a movie would suffice. I like to experience new things such as bungee jumping, an origami class, or salsa dancing. She’s a planner. I’m more of an off-the-cuff kind of guy. It takes us nearly a week just to agree on an activity.

After we agree, we often change our plans at the last minute. We live in the suburbs and it takes at least 30 minutes to travel anywhere. Since we only have a few hours to spend alone, we don’t want to waste over an hour commuting. We usually settle for having dinner at a local restaurant and spending a couple of hours in the bookstore. I think that we revert to these activities because they remind us of our first date.

Despite the hassles, scheduling dates with your spouse is important. Not only will it allow you to take a break from parenting, but it will also remind you why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place.

Do you ever have trouble scheduling a date night with your spouse?

Read more of Fred’s writing at Mocha Dad and Frederick J. Goodall

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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