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Mom Has the Last Laugh After Husband Misses Back-to-School Night for Fantasy Football

Oh, fall — how I love thee. It’s the season of pumpkin spice everything, the kids are back in school, the leaves will start to turn soon, and we get to enjoy those first few days of sweater weather. Oh yeah, and it’s also the season of one other not-so-awesome thing: We lose our husbands and boyfriends to the vortex known as Fantasy Football, which sucks them in from now until Thanksgiving.

To vent her irritation and confusion over WTH this obsession is really all about, Carey Reilly, a mom, wife, comedian, and talk show host, recently filmed a Facebook video about just how deeply her husband has been lured in by this “fantasy” league.

Reilly, who’s a co-host on the daily digital talk show The Daily Glow and writer at Not So Skinny Mom, tells Babble that she lives in New Jersey with her two kids and her “Italian stallion husband” of 16 years. Stallion or not, though, he’s been absent a lot lately, absorbed by the temptation of running his own fantasy football team.

“We’re at my son’s soccer game,” Reilly explains in her video. “He’s got his head in his phone. He’s got the laptop open — he’s working on it.”

Women everywhere have been nodding their heads in agreement when they watch the video, since her description sounds so very familiar.

Reilly also tells Babble that she recorded this hilarious video after her husband missed Back-to-School Night in order to tend to the draft. Of a make-believe team.

“What is so distracting?” she asks in her video, before following it up with, “Fantasy Football is like Dungeons and Dragons for men.”

HA! Yes, it is. And yet, they love it.

I don’t understand it either, though. My husband was in three different leagues one year. THREE. He had “no choice,” he told me, and having to go to the bar to complete his draft was “out of his control.” Mmhmm.

Reilly does, however, have a theory — and it totally makes sense. She tells Babble that she thinks men love Fantasy Football so much because they “love to compete against each other.”

“Whether it’s a chicken wing eating contest, wrestling or fantasy football … they just want to compete!” she explains. “If they can’t be the athlete, then at least they want to pick the athletes and compete that way. They also love the bragging rights and engaging in smack talk if their team wins. It’s amazing that they found a way to fiercely compete with each other while never leaving their couch!” (Haha! That’s actually pretty genius, guys. Kudos on that.)

Let’s not forget that there’s the chance to win some cash as well, though.

“I’m not 100 percent sure, but I think my husband may have won a pool years back,” Reilly adds. “One time after the season I did noticed that he had a brand new kayak … and he was very coy about how he bought it.”

But here’s my favorite part of the video: Reilly daydreams what a fantasy team of her own would be like. Hers would not consist of football players (and either would mine, TBH). But what she does suggest sounds like magic: A cleaning lady (heck, what about two cleaning ladies while we’re at it — it’s a fantasy, after all!), a chef, a tutor for the children, a driver, two nannies, someone to fold the clothes, and a babysitter so Mommy can get her hair done. Now that’s OUR fantasy team, girlfriends!

In the end, though, it really is all fantasy. So men, if you’re going to disappear for days on end in the hole of fantasy football, at least heed Reilly’s advice and help out a little with the laundry and meal prep.

“[And] you want to know what’s hot?” she adds. “Vacuuming. Vacuuming will get you weeks worth of fantasy football.” (Husbands: Take note.)

Good luck with your “teams,” guys. Hope you “win big.” And in all seriousness, if you do score some cash, Mama likes a nice dinner out with a bottle of red on the table. I mean, you do “own” a team after all. * Wink-wink. *

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