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“Chardonnay GO” Is Pokémon GO for Moms — and It’s Amazing

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of the latest craze, Pokémon Go. I would try to explain the game to you but have zero desire or motivation to create head space for it. I also just told my 13-year-old daughter to “turn that music down right now” so perhaps I am just too damn old for the game. Or life in general.

Blogger Dena Blizzard of One Funny Mother, however, has created a similar game for thirsty adults everywhere called Chardonnay Go. Instead of catching tiny cartoon-like make-believe characters, this app would allow you to scour your neighborhood for hidden real-life glasses of wine. Wine concealed in secret locations that you must find before your equally keen neighbors. Drinking and competing to win the prize of a tall, crisp glass of vino?

Where do I sign up?

As you can see in the hilarious video, Blizzard runs through her neighborhood like a crazed lunatic searching for glasses of chardonnay located by her “app.” She even manages to push over her neighbor, Donna, who is shuffling down the street all Walking Dead-style also seeking out all of the chardonnay. Blizzard assures us this is a free app and, in my personal favorite quote, “There are no problems with security because Google wants you to drink.”

What woman, especially mother, doesn’t want an app tracking liquid gold on her behalf? Hell, I’ve been known to knock my own kid over trying to get my hands on a beverage at the end of a long day. Or just a regular day, but I digress. This New Jersey mom and comedian is a woman after my own heart. Too bad the app isn’t actually real.

Unless you happen to be an app developer and want to be the most anticipated human being to ever grace the world? I, for one, would consider giving up Mother’s Day in your honor if you could make this app a reality.

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