These New “Double Jeans” Look Like the One Fashion Mistake You Didn’t Make in the ’90s

Image Source: ShopBop

The fashions hits just keep on coming, folks! We’ve barely been able to take a breathe from this week’s Dadbag discovery and now another fashion designer is intent on winning the Internet with her new twist on a classic favorite — denim jeans.

Natasha Zinko, a London-based jewelry and ready-to-wear designer, has come up with a rather interesting take on jeans — double jeans, that is. What are double jeans you may ask? According to ShopBop (where they are SOLD OUT, BTW), the jeans have “layered waistbands,” which give them a “modern high-low profile.” I honestly have no idea what a “high-low profile” is, but the jeans give the appearance of having two waists, which thoroughly confuses me.

It looks a bit like a high-waisted jean got into an argument with a low-rider denim, and after a bit of rough and tumble they agreed to disagree and came together as one. The jeans also have “contrast side stripes” and seven — count them, seven — pockets. (Which would come in handy in a pinch when you want to leave your purse at home.) Just think: You could bring your wallet, phone, lipstick, keys, hair band, and two additional mystery items, and your pants would have a separate compartment for each of them!

But now comes the real head-scratcher: The trousers also come with “button closure and zip fly at each waist panel.” I’ll just give you a minute to consider this one …

Are you wondering what I’m thinking right now? Namely, why on earth you’d need two buttons and two zip flies? I mean, don’t you only need one button and fly to pull the jeans on and off and to do your lady business? I just want the one where my crotch is. Is that too much to ask? There are just TOO MANY OPTIONS HERE!

But as if that wasn’t enough, here’s the really crazy part: Zinko’s jeans are retailing for a whopping $695. AND THEY ARE SOLD OUT ONLINE. I don’t know about you, but if I had that much disposable income just laying around, I’d buy two pairs of designer jeans and head to Starbucks with the change. Instead, it almost appears as if you already had one pair of jeans on and inadvertently threw on another pair in a rush.

No judgment here, though — I routinely scream at whoever is in earshot that I lost my glasses only to have one of my children point to the top of my head, but I mean … come on, guys. (I mean whatever, I have three kids and I’ve lost my damn mind. I blame them.)

I’m not sure when these double jeans will be back in stock, but for all those currently holding their breath, might I suggest a comfortable pair of yoga pants while you wait? Buttons and zip flies not included.

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