Actress and mom blogger Eva Amurri Martino is opening up about a shocking accident involving her newborn son — one that she says has left her wracked with worry and guilt. As Amurri Martino revealed on her website Happily Eva After on Sunday, a night nurse accidentally dropped her son Major shortly after Thanksgiving, causing the newborn to fracture his skull and spend two days at Yale Medical Center.
The details are heartbreaking to read:
“Kyle and I were sleeping at the time and were awoken by the sound of his head hitting the floor, and then hysterical piercing screams,” Amurri Martino wrote.
In the raw and emotional post, she went on to explain:
“By the grace of all his many angels, and every God one cares to pray to, MAJOR IS FINE. Completely fine,” she wrote. “Though he had the fracture, some skull displacement, and bleeding, the skull did not touch his brain and the bleeding was localized.”
Yet despite the positive outcome, the 31-year-old mother of two admits that the scars from that day still linger, and she believes she might now be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder:
“It’s nearly impossible for me to trust anyone but myself to take care of Major now,” she wrote. “Hearing Major cry hard immediately triggers my memories of the moments after the accident and instigates and immediate panic attack — my heart races and tears spring to my eyes. Sometimes I get dizzy spells. I feel nauseous and overwhelmed and even small discomforts he has make me anxious. My appetite has decreased to nothing, I have a hard time getting to sleep after night time feedings, and my milk supply goes up and down depending on the stresses of the day. Anytime we are near an edge or a ledge, I fear that he will fall, somehow, and be hurt again.”
Part of Amurri Martino’s reason for sharing the story was to announce that she will be taking a break from her blog to work out issues stemming from the incident, though she did leave readers on a positive note:
“I know that once I dedicate myself fully to understanding what I’m going through that I will begin to get better. Even writing this and speaking my truth today has parted the clouds a bit.”
Eva is yet to live out the remainder of her story, which leaves us all contemplating how she will find her way back to the optimistic voice that defines her. But in this moment of darkness, I believe the truth she speaks is inspiring many mothers who have seen their own children through injury or illness.
I know because I am one of them.
I too have written about my own toddler son’s accidental injury, in the hopes that my words could bring a mom who is suffering a small moment of comfort. I too understand how haunting a child’s cries of pain can be after they are injured while in the care of another — because that’s exactly what I heard when my babysitter accidentally spilled a pot of boiling water on my then 2-year-old.
I soon found myself in an Emergency Room where doctors warned me his burn was so severe, my son could die. After that, I spent a month in and out of the ICU Burn Unit, and seeing him through repeated surgeries.
But there was a beautiful outcome to my story, too: Like Eva’s boy Major, my William is FINE and on Friday, will celebrate his sixth birthday.
Where Eva and I differ is that I didn’t have the courage to publicly admit how traumatized I was from the situation when I wasn’t the optimistic person I usually like to present to the world.
It’s been almost four years since our incident, and while I have written about it, and talked about it, only now do I have the courage to acknowledge the depth to the guilt that I suffered. Just as Eva forgave her night nurse, I harbored no ill will toward the babysitter who never meant to harm my boy. But finding that same forgiveness for myself has been a more complicated process that involves a lot of self-compassion.
These days, I am way less anxious and for the most part, have returned to what I consider a “normal” level of parental anxiety. But I still remember well a time when the fear of another accident nearly crippled me.
So when I think of Eva, walking a similar journey of recovery from trauma, I can only think: This mom has guts. She is sharing her story before she has the answers. She is standing before us in a moment of vulnerability.
So let’s honor her courage by being kind and compassionate instead of casting the judgments she fears we will. Let’s surround her with the love and support she needs and deserves — as we all do — and applaud her for a powerful moment of authenticity.More On