My ex just got back from a trip to Rome — without me of course, because we are no longer married. But even though we don’t take vacations as a couple, we are still on a trip together: It’s called co-parenting our three kids while still loving each other enough to commit to giving them the best life possible. It means we put the differences from our relationship aside and look to our kids’ future instead. It’s not always easy, but we both agreed this would be how we handled our new normal — because married or not, we will be in a partnership for the rest of our lives. We are bound by three amazing humans.
We still get mad at each other, and we still cry about the ending of a chapter on occasion. So when I saw Fergie’s emotional description of her split from Josh Duhamel in an interview airing this Thursday on The Wendy Williams Show, I felt like she was in my head.
“It wasn’t my plan,” said Fergie about the split. “I wanted to stay married forever.”
That sentiment got me right in the gut because I think that’s the struggle we all have when we realize our marriage is ending — it’s not the story we had written for ourselves.
When you meet “The One,” you believe with all your heart and soul they will be your person forever. When you have kids, it can seal that bond even tighter, but it doesn’t always mean you are meant to be forever. Writing a new chapter is the scariest part for everyone involved — you, your ex partner, and the kids.
“I love Josh, he’s the father of my child,” Fergie went on to say. “We forever have that project together and we’re doing the best we can.”
And while it’s not an easy “project,” our kids are worth any pain it may cause us to see or be around our ex. It’s easy to get caught up in our egos and can be so difficult to be the bigger person and realize your children come first — but they do.
Married or not, you are invested in your kids for a lifetime. And if your marriage does end, it is so helpful to have someone you can count on to parent with you. Your kids will notice, and you will never regret that you were able to still share enough love to keep investing in your kids together.
Fergie and Duhamel are doing the best they can, and their child is going to benefit from their strength.
h/t: Hello Giggles