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Little Girl “Interviews” Her Cat and It Turns Out, He’s Kind of a Jerk

I don’t know about you, but I’ve frequently wondered what’s going on in the mind of my surly 15-year-old cat, Miles. I often stare deep into his eyes and wonder what kind of thoughts could be floating around in there, as he sleeps for hours at a time in the corner of my bed, knocks my photos off the dresser, or claws the heck out of my ottoman when he thinks I’m not looking.

I’m pretty sure he’s just thinking about his next meal, 24/7. And how he can possibly manage to get more of his fur on my favorite black coat. But still …

Recently, a 10-year-old named Gabi from Dublin, Ireland was apparently pondering the same thing about her cat Coco — and decided to go straight to the source to learn the truth. In a now-viral tweet, Gabi’s dad Paul Duane shared the results of the “interview” she conducted with Coco earlier this week, which (spoiler alert) was apparently quite disastrous.

Gabi began the interview — which was recorded on pen and looseleaf, as one does — with a simple request: “Coco, can I rub you on the head?”

“Absolutely,” Coco reportedly answered.

But that’s when Gabi started to get a little … well, pushy.

“The back?” she asked, to which Coco reluctantly said, “Sure.”

“The tummy?” Gabi pressed.

And that’s when Coco laid down the law: “YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO EVER TOUCH MY TUMMY!” she shot back.

Yikes.

Unfortunately, this didn’t deter the 10-year-old, who proceeded to ask if she could touch Coco’s legs (answer: “NO!”), her tail (“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”) and then her butt.

That last one was apparently the final straw, because Coco decided she was done. You hear that? D-O-N-E.

“IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?” she reportedly shouted back. “THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.”

That’s right — Coco the cat shut. it. down.

And that folks, is what owning a cat is like, in a nutshell. As told by one hilarious 10-year-old.

… Any questions?

Needless to say, Gabi has become something of a viral sensation in the days since her dad’s tweet first went viral. So much so, that she even landed her own interview this week with Greg James, a popular radio host with the U.K.’s Radio 1 show.

When asked what she was currently up to, the precocious 10-year-old replied, “I’m making my own Harry Potter sorting hat quiz.” (For the record, she’s Slytherin.)

She then went on to add that the idea for the interview just came to her one day, but that Coco was ultimately a “very fierce” interview subject.

The interview (which you can listen to in full right here) is pretty adorable from start to finish, including the part where Gabi is asked what kind of cat Coco is.

“I think she’s a cross between something, I’m not sure,” she shared. “But she looks like a little brown cloud.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve love to meet Coco. She sounds like a real character.

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