According to the American Psychological Association, between 40 and 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce. And for couples who split after having kids, so begins the tricky and sometimes emotionally messy prospect of learning to co-parent.
Just take it from Hilary Duff, who graces the cover of Redbook magazine this month, and gives some real talk about divorce and single parenthood in her cover story interview.
In short? “It sucks,” the actress shared bluntly. And with that one simple statement, she has single divorced parents everywhere saying SAME.
The 29-year-old blonde beauty was married to the professional hockey player Mike Comrie for six years, but the couple called it quits in 2016, just two years after the birth of their only child, Luca. In the months since, the ex-couple has worked together to co-parent their son, which means crazy schedules and lots of compromising.
The realities of divorce are different for every family, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t endless assumptions about families that have split apart. For example, there’s the ongoing misconception that with co-parenting comes evenly divided schedules, alternate weekends, and lots of lovely time alone. But for divorced parents, time away from their kids isn’t always Shangri La.
As Duff explains:
“Some of my friends tell me, ‘God, it must be so nice, you get a break from your kid because you share him.’ I’m divorced and it sucks,” Duff said, adding, “Well, it did suck for a while; now it’s just normal.”
The actress goes on to openly describe a recent arrangement between her and her ex that involved a fairly taxing schedule. “I had Luca by myself for a few weeks, no help, when Mike was on the road, and when he got home I was like, ‘He’s yours! Bye!’”
She also talks candidly about the ever-elusive work-life balance, pointing out how mom guilt is never far behind. And it’s true, moms generally are put in the tough position of having to feel guilty for staying home or guilty for working outside the home.
“I always feel torn or guilty about something,” she shared. “I’m not working right now, and at first I stressed about that, like, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t stay still this long.’ And that’s ridiculous. I have a child; it’s totally fine to not be slammed all the time.”
It’s always pretty refreshing to see a gorgeous and successful Hollywood actress admitting that, yes, just like the rest of us, she too finds motherhood to be a ridiculous challenge. In the interview, Duff weighs in on everything from chauffeuring her child around town to dealing with the constant questions from others wanting to know if she’ll have more children.
“You get engaged: ‘When’s the wedding?’ You get married: ‘When’s the baby?’ You have a baby: ‘When’s the next one?’” says Duff. “I’m cherishing the now.”
Well said, Mama!
Parenting is already hard enough, but when you toss in a divorce and upend schedules and expectations, then parenting becomes a whole new world of complicated. It is always inspiring to see public figures who can speak candidly and honestly about what works (and what doesn’t) when it comes to co-parenting. Because at the end of the day, the end goal is to raise great people, no matter what the circumstances.More On