This weekend, kids everywhere pounded the pavement in their best costumes, going door-to-door with their pumpkin buckets, asking neighbors and strangers alike for candy. They walked until their little feet were tired and their arms ached under the weight of all those king-size Snickers and fun-size M&Ms. They worked harder than they’ve ever worked before, with us following behind them in their wake with our travel mugs of Pinot Noir and pockets full of our own stash.
It’s a bit of an odd tradition we have, when you stop and think about it. And on any other night, we would all be arrested for such widespread panhandling.
But that’s besides the point. Those kids worked their butts off begging for massive amounts of free candy and what did we do? Well, we told them they could only have a few pieces a night — despite all their whining — and put them to bed.
And then we ate that damn candy like our lives depended on it.
No, not all of it. But a sizable dent. After all, we did give them life. They should at least give us chocolate. Don’t agree with us? Well, Jimmy Kimmel does.
As is tradition, every year Kimmel asks parents to play a prank on their kids by telling them they ate all their Halloween candy. Naturally, the kids freak out and hilarity ensues. And as a special treat, Hollywood dad Mark Ruffalo got in the action this year, too! Watch as the Oscar®-nominated actor gives the performance of his life:
If you need us, we’ll be diving into the stash we bought and hid from the kids because it’s Tuesday and we deserve it.