I’ll confess it isn’t often that I agree with Kim Kardashian’s opinions, but when she wrote on her glossy website about hating pregnancy, I cheered.
Now the reality star leads a more rarified life than I do (sadly, there is no one styling my hair and plastering on my makeup on a daily basis), so if Kim with all her minions pampering her still hates pregnancy, then you know she is suffering.
She wrote: “I’m gonna keep it real: for me, pregnancy is the worst experience of my life! LOL! I don’t enjoy one moment of it and I don’t understand people who enjoy it.”
I’m right there with you. It was no picnic in the park for me either — in both my pregnancies. So what ailments is Kim having to deal with?
“Maybe it’s the swelling, the backaches or just the complete mindf**k of how your body expands and nothing fits. I just always feel like I’m not in my own skin. People just don’t tell you all of the gross things that happen during pregnancy or after. Do you know you basically have to wear a diaper for two months afterwards! LOL! No one told me that! #SoSexy.”
You have to admire Kim’s honesty. When I was pregnant with my son in 2005, the first few weeks I felt like I was walking around with a lemon in my neither regions. I also experienced weird dragging sensations — none of which were comfortable. When they ceased, in crept nausea if I didn’t eat all the time. But that was nothing compared to the breast pain. I felt like I had jogger’s nipple (a dry, sore, cracked nipple) every time I ventured out of the house. The pain was so bad it used to wake me from my sleep; my husband would wake to hear me quietly sobbing. The week it stopped, I was so relieved … until heartburn came to the party.
And to add to all of this, I carried extra water so my feet swelled up like a wrestler’s. I discovered that you actually could unbuckle Birkenstocks! My chest took on a life of its own, going up two cup sizes in a week. While magazines wrote of women “glowing” and “glossy locks,” I looked like someone had blown me up into a puffy, sweaty, massive version of myself. I never “suited” pregnancy.
The second time around, the heartburn was so aggressive I was on medication from week six. My bra cut welts into my skin, my breasts were squished together giving me unusual heat rashes, I had more skin tags than you could shake a stick at, and let’s not even talk about the hemorrhoids.
Meanwhile, the hormones! I went from teary and exhausted to upbeat and zany — all in about five minutes. I went from ravenous to barely able to eat because even a piece of toast created wild indigestion and heartburn. Weird dark pigment spots appeared on my face to compliment the dark brown linea nigra across my belly. While I miraculously didn’t get any stretch marks, those skin tags still catch on my bra, even today.
I didn’t suffer as much as many other women (one I know had to have a mobility scooter as she couldn’t walk due to hip problems) and another friend was hospitalized with preeclampsia, but still I was miserable. Now imagine being Kim, whose very existence in the celebrity bubble seems to hinge on your sexiness: revealing your fabulous bod and booty on a regular basis — all while feeling like this. Knowing that those huge brick-sized sanitary towels are coming back into your life after the birth, along with nipple pads, maternity bras, and all the other bodily things that we moms have to deal with. It’s not exactly fun — for any woman — least of all one whose currency is her looks.
That doesn’t mean to say that I’m not grateful for being able to produce two amazing, healthy kids. I am beyond overjoyed and feel incredibly blessed. But does that mean I have to say I enjoyed pregnancy? Surely I can admit that it didn’t make me feel great — both health- and body image-wise?
I waddled, I ached, I swelled up, and I had people talk to my chest for eight months. It wasn’t much fun, but of course it was worth it — something Kim also adds:
“But I will say, as much as I really hate the whole feeling of being pregnant, I enjoy the challenge of getting my body back after it’s all over. I feel so accomplished when I’m back to where I want to be. Really, it is all SO worth it when you have your precious baby in the end! So for all my complaining, it’s 100 percent worth it and more!!!”
Unlike Kim, my body has never returned to its pre-pregnancy state, but I don’t mind that. It is a body that bore two kids, so how can I not love it? Saying you don’t enjoy pregnancy doesn’t mean you lack gratitude for being pregnant to begin with. It just makes you honest, or as Kim would say, “#keeping it real.” And there’s nothing wrong with that.More On