OK, we’re calling it right now: There’s nobody more real about motherhood than Kristen Bell, and the latest episode of her new web series “Momsplaining” is solid proof. Pretty much, if there’s ANY conversation you haven’t had about breastfeeding, then get ready — because episode 4 puts it all on the table.
In this video, Bell sits down with new mom Katie Lowes from ABC’s Scandal to talk about everything from bonding with baby and fears of mastitis, to – umm — that time when her husband Dax had to “nurse” on her boob. (Yeah, that happened. Wait for it.)
First, Lowes herself is completely honest about her early experiences with her newborn, which in itself is totally refreshing.
“I totally loved him, but in an abstract way?” she says. “Like I also felt like … who is this stranger in my house?”
Instead of being horrified, Bell wholeheartedly agrees and breaks it down even further.
“I felt the same way and I don’t feel like anyone talks about that!” says Bell. “It IS a stranger. As humans, we make connections through experiences. I had no experiences with this person!”
“Thank GOD, because I was like ‘I’m going to be a terrible mother,'” replied Lowes. “I have no motherly instincts … Thank god he’s cute because he’s like ripping my nipples off.”
Glad to hear someone admit they aren’t exactly blissed out on cloud nine from day one, because in truth, those newborn days can be rough.
The two moms then turn to the topic of mastitis (read: blocked milk ducts). Lowes declares how scared she was about it, while Bell casually announces that she’s had it three times — and the last time was particularly tricky.
“The third time I had it,” says Bell, “I was in Atlanta and we couldn’t call a doctor, and this was right after the baby stopped nursing. So I said to my husband, ‘I’m gonna need you to suck this out. We could talk about it, we could be weird about it, or you can just go ahead and nurse.’”
“Did he?” asked Katie, wide-eyed.
“Yes! He had a cup next to him. He was pulling out and spitting into this cup. And I’ve never been more in love in my life.”
While that’s literally the weirdest breastfeeding story we’ve ever heard, it’s also a serious trump card that Dax will have in his back pocket forever. Because let’s face it — from here on out, could the man do any wrong? All he’d have to say is, “REMEMBER THE TIME I NURSED YOUR BOOB?!”
Finally, at one point, the ladies decide that the one thing that Katie really needs is a taste of her own breastmilk. The two pour themselves each a glass of her pumped milk and consider its quality.
“I did have Mallomars last night,” Lowes warned.
“I’m not getting much of a scent, but I bet this is gonna be dreamy milk,” says Bell.
Lowes then swirls it like a glass of wine and takes a sip.
“Whoa … it’s sweet!” she says. “Very sweet. Like vanilla sweetened almond milk.”
Well that’s … food for thought?