We all know kids can be weird. And sometimes embarrassingly honest. Oh, and also creepy AF.
But just in case you didn’t get the memo yet on that last one, the good people of Twitter are here to remind you this week, by sharing some straight-up WEIRD things kids have said like it was NBD.
Like this kid, who is probably definitely going to be featured on an episode of Dateline NBC one day:
My son, at five years old:
"Daddy, I'm gonna eat you up."
"Yeah, I'm gonna cut you into little pieces."
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) January 28, 2018
Or this one, whose parents might have some anger management issues to address:
Little girl, abt 4, my friend’s kid obsessed with this horse cartoon dvd. One day out of the blue she’s watching it, hits eject, pulls out dvd and immediately snaps it in two. Not a word. 😳
— Benjamin L Clark (@BLClark) January 28, 2018
Or this little girl, who seems to know a thing or two more about reincarnation than her mother does:
My daughter was about 5 when she says you’re the best mommy I ever had. I said I’m the only mommy you’ve ever had. She looks at me and says no your the 3rd one but I like you the best😳
— iWakanda✊🏾👸🏿🤴🏾🎟 (@daahlingnikki) January 28, 2018
Or — SWEET LORD, THIS KID WHO CAN APPARENTLY SEE DEAD PEOPLE:
Walking with my 2-yo in a cemetery by our house. She says “mommy, who is that man in the red jacket by the stone house?” She pointed to a mausoleum. There was no one else in the cemetery. “He’s waving at me!” She waved back. “He’s coming over to talk!”
— Kate, But the Tired Version (@Ardeospina) January 28, 2018
Seriously, the further you dig, the creepier it gets:
"We're all gonna die."
"I know sweetie. That's just part of-"
"You're gonna die tomorrow."
— Iced Pound Cake (@ms_chel_ayyye) January 28, 2018
Okay, I am straight-up TERRIFIED RN YOU GUYS:
This was my first.
At the store. We'd had a nice day, picnic at the park.
Suddenly, he grabs my hand, squeezes REAL HARD and says, "Mama when you die, I'm gonna make a little-you so I can keep you always. Like with your skin, and eyes, but probly not your insides." All smiles.
— gin. (@showupforthis) January 28, 2018
I’m starting to think The Sixth Sense was more of a biopic than anything else …
3yo alone in the tub, sitting to one side, starts getting visibly upset at nothing on her left side, “Tell him I don’t like that! Tell him to leave me alone!”
She started crying uncontrollably, “He won’t leave!”
(Reader, I got her out of the tub immediately.)
— Carina (@jet_set) January 28, 2018
NO! Anyone but the cat!
I hadn't seen the cat belonging to my neighbor's kid in a few days.
Me to neighbor's kid: "What happened to your cat?"
Kid: "Her neck snapped."
Also kid: *smiles sweetly*
— Elizabeth (@RegulatoryHell) January 28, 2018
Never getting on a plane with this kid, just in case:
Oh one of my kiddos drew a picture of an airplane and then said “all the people in the airplane are trapped.” I said…what?! She then drew orange flames everywhere and red blood anywhere else and said they had all died and no one would ever find them.
— Cine Sister (@Amani_Marie_) January 28, 2018
WTF DOES THIS EVEN MEAN, KID?!
I was hiking alone in the woods with my son who was 7. It was eerie quiet. Out of nowhere he says “The woods demand a sacrifice.”
— YOUNG MT (@MXTracy66) January 28, 2018
Okay, this one’s actually kind of sweet if you think about it:
When my daughter was 2 I found her under the table with one of my husband’s old children’s books, turning pages as if she were being read to. I asked her what she was doing. She said “reading with Grandma” my husband’s mother died two years before she was born. It was her book.
— Michelle B. Young (@MichelleBYoung1) January 28, 2018
Oof, thanks for the visual, kid:
Subbing a kindergarten class, a little girls walks up, stares at my chest.
"You have big boobies. My grandma had big boobies. She's dead now and her boobies are rotting off. Is it almost recess?"
— Erin Griggs (@Wordslingeuse) January 28, 2018
In case you’re wondering who to blame for all this, the epic Twitter thread was kicked off on Saturday by Twitter user @Karynthia, who posed the simple, yet apparently terrifying query: “People who interact with kids, what is the single weirdest/creepiest thing a kid has ever said to you? It’s Saturday night so why not creep yourself out?”
Their answers have been creeping everyone out for days now, with the thread receiving over 9.9K retweets, 18K likes, and literally thousands of replies. And leading at least one 33-year-old woman (who shall remain nameless) to contemplate sleeping with the lights on tonight …