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Team Jess vs. Team Logan: The Definitive Pro-Con List of Who Rory Should End Up With

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Image source: Netflix

With Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life fast approaching, there was only one logical thing to do — try to get to the bottom of the Team Jess vs. Team Logan debate. If I dare say, more people can easily choose which of Rory’s boyfriends they prefer her to end up with than which presidential candidate they’ll be voting for. The only accurate way to truly solve this debate was to re-watch all seven seasons in two weeks while taking notes.

What kind of notes you ask? Why, a pro-con list, of course! It’s something even Lorelai and Rory swear by. In Season 3, Episode 17 “A Tale of Poes and Fire” (see, I really did watch all 154 episodes in impressive time) the ladies have covered one of the diner tables in pieces of paper. Luke asks, in his charming way, “What’s with all the pro-con lists?” In which Lorelai responds, “That’s how we make our important decisions, you know that.” If it’s good enough for our favorite girls, it’s good enough for me.

So, for the sake of all that is Gilmore, I brewed my best imitation of Luke’s coffee, loaded up on enough snacks to supply not one, not two, but THREE Thanksgiving feasts (it’s what Rory and Lorelai would want), and started binging. So, without further ado, I present my official Team Jess vs. Team Logan analysis.

Team Jess

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ A little mysterious at first
+ Loves to read actual literature; left notes in the margins of Rory’s book
+ Handsome in a bad boy way
– Negative attitude sometimes
– A bit conniving
– Lorelai doesn’t like him

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– He did technically crash Rory’s car and left her alone at the hospital
+ He does buy a car with his own money
+ First kiss was definitely mesmerizing
– First kiss was very poorly timed (Rory was still dating Dean!)
– While “pursuing” her he was flaunting his make-out sessions with Shane
+ As soon as Rory was available, he dropped everything to be with her
– He showed up with a black eye to dinner with Rory and Emily and refused to give an explanation
+ He didn’t get into an actual fight, he was “beaked” by an angry swan (hilarious)

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+/- He does fib to Rory about it to save face (fair enough)
– Rory rushes to leave a Friday night dinner for a date with him, but he never calls or shows up
+ He surprises Rory another night with concert tickets
+ He receives Employee of the Month at Walmart
+/- He’s a man of few words, depending on preference this can be both good or bad
– Skips out on school to work instead, but lies to everyone about it
+ His idea of a compromise was watching Saturday Night Fever and getting Thai food with Rory
+ He looked up exactly how far Yale is from Stars Hollow (22.8 miles)

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– He plays it off like he doesn’t fully care about things when he actually does
+ He knows Rory is better than a brown-bagged lunch
+/- Very into his hair and using hair product (again, depends on opinion)
+ Has intentions to take Rory to prom
– Flunked out of high school (missed 31 days) and lies to everyone about it
+ Knows how to tap a keg
– Instead of confessing to Rory that he can’t take her to prom, he tries to make out with her
– Gets in a big physical fight with Dean causing lots of destruction that Luke has to pay for

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– Often gets mad, disappears, and doesn’t open up
– Deprives Rory of going to the prom
– Leaves to go to California without telling Luke or Rory
– Continues to call Rory and hang up; hurts her; lets her ramble and say goodbye and that she loved him yet still doesn’t say a word
+ Returns to Stars Hollow to walk his mother down the aisle at her wedding
+ Tells Luke he appreciates him and plans to pay him back

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– Asks Rory to come away with him and abandon all her plans
+ Tries to change to win Rory back
– Still unreliable and unpredictable
+ Shows up at the Gilmore house to give her a copy of his book
+ Living on his own in Philadelphia
+ Honestly admits he’s nervous to see her

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ Wrote his own short novel
+ Has his book in a bunch of independent bookstores
+ Tells Rory he couldn’t have accomplished this without her
+ Throws rocks at Rory’s window like Romeo and Juliet
– Acts moody again when out with Logan and Rory
+ Confronts Rory about her life and has her question what she’s doing
+ Helps Rory realize she’s wasting her time partying and living with her grandparents

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ Gets his life together; invites Luke and Rory to his bookstore event
+ Pays Luke back all that he owed him
+ Just wants Rory to be happy

Total pros: 32/55 — 58%
Total cons: 23/55 — 41%

Team Logan

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– Meets Rory at the coffee cart and makes a poor first impression
+ Goes to Yale
+ Loyal to his friends and very polite
+ Can keep up with Rory’s verbal banter
+ Great smile, also extremely good looking (Rory is a lucky lady all-around)
– Can be a bit of a wild child
+/- He’s a member of the Life and Death Brigade, denies it at first when Rory is writing her article
+ Gives Rory the scoop by letting her come to one of their secret events
+ Gives Rory a fun nickname, “Ace”

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ Encourages Rory to leave her comfort zone (You jump, I jump, Jack)
– He’s a ladies man “with a line to get to him”
+ Provides her with a beautiful dress for the Life and Death Brigade event
+ Rescues her from her grandparents’ party after they try to set her up with a slew of rich boys
+ Richard and Emily are a big fan of him
+ Supports her as a friend when Dean breaks up with her
– Makes a huge scene in front of an entire lecture class faux-declaring his love for Rory to make an impression on the high school student she was mentoring, thus embarrassing Rory

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– Often defers to his dad’s connection as a way to solve things
– Doesn’t always apply himself
+/- Tells Rory he doesn’t want to ask her out because she’s special and he isn’t boyfriend material
+ First kiss is intense (swoon to Rory recreating her parents’ first kiss)
– Makes a bad first impression on Lorelai, Christopher, and Luke
+/- Daring, but sometimes too daring
– Treats money like it’s nothing (credit card roulette, eek)
+ Let’s Rory take his driver to get to Lorelai ASAP after her and Luke’s break up
+ Comes through her dorm window to kiss her goodnight (oooh!)

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+/- Breaks into the dining hall to get ice cream and unlimited cereal
– Gets jealous when Rory shows up to a party with someone else
– Rory gets very drunk, sick, and cries over him
+ He decides to give up on his playboy ways to commit himself to Rory
– Never had a girlfriend before
– Overbearing, judgmental family that thinks Rory isn’t good enough for him (SHE’S A GILMORE!)
– Steals something from Emily and Richard’s house for the Life and Death Brigade
– Influences Rory to steal yacht which leads to her getting arrested
– His dad’s criticism leads Rory to take a leave from Yale
– Plays off getting arrested like it’s nothing, throws a party to commemorate it

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ Buys her a Birkin bag (Rory doesn’t even know the importance of it — so precious)
+/- Rory says “I love you,” and he waits to respond until he really feels it
– He and his friends get really drunk, and Rory has to handle it
– Acts very jealous when he finds Jess with Rory
– Drinks too much at dinner with Jess and Rory and acts like a huge jerk
– Doesn’t respect the opportunities that his family provides him
– Tells his sister they are broken up without mentioning it to Rory
– Shows up out of the blue to criticize Rory’s apartment and says he loves her, but she’s not prepared for that
– Incessantly sends Rory extravagant gifts to try and show her how he feels
+ Visits Lorelai to try and figure out how to get Rory back, says he will not give up
+ He steps up to help get the Yale Daily News out when Rory tries to save it
+ Invites Rory to move in with him
+ Has Luke and Lorelai up to his house on Martha’s Vineyard

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ Saves Luke by giving him an extra gift so he doesn’t disappoint Lorelai on Valentine’s Day
– Expected to work in London for over a year, hid it from Rory
– Slept with his sister’s entire wedding party during their “break” and didn’t confess to it
+ Pleads his case, begs Rory to come back home with him
– Tells Rory she embarrassed him in front of his friends
– Reckless, gets severely injured on the last Life and Death Brigade outing
+ Pulls it together, mans up, and goes to London; wants to be a better man for Rory
+ Sends her the rocket proving that he’s devoted to her
– Long-distance relationship makes communicating difficult
+ Surprises Rory on the roof of their apartment building with twinkling lights and dinner

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– Fails to mention one of his closest colleagues is an attractive woman
+ Surprises Rory again in their apartment, “Normal is not why you love me”
+ Introduces Rory to people that can help start her career
– Gets really offended by Rory’s piece of writing about the upper class and goes off on her, noting that she isn’t paying rent
+ Apologizes, makes up with Rory, compliments her writing
+/- Tells the truth about Rory and Marty’s friendship to Lucy, honest but puts a strain on Rory and Lucy’s friendship
+ Shows up immediately to support Rory and her family after Richard’s heart attack

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

+ Sends Rory a care package to keep her motivated about senior year
+ Tells Rory he trusts her completely and isn’t worried about their relationship
– Starts drinking again when his business starts to fail, wasn’t honest with Rory about it
– Goes back to his old habits and jets off to Las Vegas with his friends
+/- Shows up at Mia’s wedding in North Carolina to make amends, Rory is not impressed
+ Gains his own independence, finally leaving his dad’s company
– Disagrees with Lorelai and wants Rory to take a risk with her career
+ Wants Rory to make her own choices about her career
+/- Gets a new job with an Internet company and will have to move to San Francisco
+ Asks Lorelai for permission to propose to Rory (!!!)

Image source: Netflix
Image source: Netflix

– Proposes in the middle of her graduation party at her grandparents’ house
+ Gives Rory time to think it over, doesn’t push her
– Won’t agree to a long-distance relationship, breaks up with her at Yale graduation

Total pros: 43/86 — 50%
Total cons: 43/86 — 50%

So, there it is folks. Jess wins by a small margin (8% more pros than Logan) as the man best suited for our girl Rory. I have to say, after 115 total hours of Gilmore Girls, I’m a bit appalled. I can now reveal that I, personally, am on Team Logan. However, the statistics don’t lie — and I can assure you this analysis was 100% bias-free.

P.S. Dean fans, if you’re out there. I’m sorry, but the yelling-while-breaking-up-with-Rory-in-public scene was enough to take him out of the running. Oh, and that whole sleeping with her while he was married thing.

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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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